1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Tragic death of a dementia patient.

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by angiebails, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. angiebails

    angiebails Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    227
    crewe
    Today at 1pm in Nantwich the community are lighting a candle for the tragic loss of Roy who was a dementia patient in a care home. Somehow they left the door unlocked and he wandered off last a week last Tuesday. After searching for a week he was found dead in an outhouse of a house just 400 yards from where he escaped. It brings home to me how important it is too keep your loved ones safe and as I care for my husband at home I do not leave him for a minute. I have recently been feeling a bit trapped as I have no freedom to pop to the shops or go for coffee with friends but to think what this poor mans family have had to endure with him missing for a whole week to find him dead having died alone and in the cold brings it home that I am perhaps not so hard done to.
    RIP Roy. Hope the Angels take better care of you.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    How dreadful for Roy, he must have been so frightened. I too send my thoughts to his family and hope that he is now at peace.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,902
    Female
    Scotland
    This was my fear when John was at the height of his wandering. We have got over that (I think) but it is always a possibility with a PWD. The care home must have had poor controls over their exits to have had this happen.
     
  4. nannylondon

    nannylondon Registered User

    Apr 7, 2014
    2,475
    London
    How sad I feel so sorry for his family brings home how vulnerable our loved ones are
     
  5. Bigreader

    Bigreader Registered User

    Jan 22, 2016
    26
    How absolutely awful for all concerned. I suppose there is always human error and whoever it was will have to live with the consequences.

    Thinking of his family today
    BR x
     
  6. geum123

    geum123 Registered User

    May 20, 2009
    4,604
    Oh how tragic. RIP Roy. xxxx
     
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,745
    Female
    London
    While this is tragic, I don't think you can't have a life just because you want someone safe. Care homes are usually locked, as is the Day Centre my OH goes to. Please look into more support, and if it's just sitters for a few hours a week so you can have some time to yourself!
     
  8. lin1

    lin1 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2010
    9,320
    Female
    East Kent
    A terrible tragedy. RIP Roy. Thinking of his family who must be going through hell.
     
  9. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    839
    Fife Scotland
    so sad and tragic
     
  10. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    When I first read this thread, I misread the sentence "a dementia patient in a care home", and thought it was either a man living on his own, at home, or living with someone, and he had been left, and wandered off.

    To think it was in a Care Home! How awful that their security systems weren't up to par, and, I assume, in spite of police searches, and, again I'm assuming, the community being asked to check outhouses, that it was a week until he was found.

    Angebails, I too cared for my husband on my own, but eventually I realised I needed help, as I was crashing, and he attended Day Centres. To begin with, he went a couple of times a week, for a few hours a time, but towards the end, he went 6 days a week. By this stage, I didn't dare leave him even for the time it took me to have a wee, and took him into the loo with me.

    I couldn't have coped as long as I did (12 years) without a break, as those few hours enabled me to catch up on some sleep. We carers are entitled to have some time off, so I hope you can arrange to get some support. And may that poor man's soul Rest In Peace. xxx
     
  11. angiebails

    angiebails Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    227
    crewe
    When they had the helicopter searching for him on the day the Cheshire police statement was they were making a search and it was nothing to worry about. No mention that in this freezing weather it was a dementia patient from the care home otherwise more might have been done and when the public asked to help they used the excuse of health and safety. He was probably frozen to death on that very first night. The care home was probably the one I would have chosen eventually for my husband as it takes dementia sufferers
    On the point of help with my husband I am desperate for help but have only just got him stable and calm on risperdone after months of violence because of hallucinations, seeing me with various men in his sleep and being convinced I sneak off when he goes to bed so I'm nervous of triggering these thoughts again. I will have to take it one step at a time hopefully with the help of the dementia clinic.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  12. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    Sweetie, like everything else, only you know when it is the right time. :) That applies to Day Clubs, respite in a Care Home, permanently in a Care Home, carers visiting, and everything else. I hope that, when you decide the time is right, you get the help you need from the Dementia Clinic. xxx
     
  13. CeliaThePoet

    CeliaThePoet Registered User

    Dec 7, 2013
    614
    Buffalo, NY, USA
    In the US, we have something called Silver Alert, where a notice of an endangered person with cognitive impairment missing goes out to all news outlets, is texted through public outlets, even on highway signs. We also have Amber Alert for missing children. Is there such a thing in the UK?
     
  14. angiebails

    angiebails Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    227
    crewe
    No such thing it didn't even reach the local tv news. The local community were contacting them asking for publicity and then he was found just 400 yards away hiding in an outhouse and probably died of cold straight away as he didn't even have a coat on just a shirt. A dementia patient is so much more vulnerable than even a child. Each evening this week I have taken my OH for dinner in the restaurant and he doesn't have a clue where he is. The waiters help him back to the table.


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  15. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    That is a fantastic idea
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.