hi my mum jean died last night-id been visiting mum at her care home every day- sometimes staying 5hs + if mum seemed particularly unwell - the home were aware how important it was that i be informed if mum deteriorated as i wanted to be with my mum at the end - i stayed as much as i could with mum and on monday after staying 5hrs i went home at 7pm i only live a mile away - i got a call at 11.30 to say they were really concerned for mum and i got there straight away mum did seem really poorly -no response in any way from mum - she would usually follow me with her eyes but she seemed completely gone and i was so worried ,all the symptoms of end of life were there and i knew it would not be long- after 18hrs i went home completely exhausted to try to get a few hrs sleep -4hrs later i was called and got there within 15mins - mum had passed away literally minutes before - i am just so distressed that i was not with mum- i could not have spent more time than i was doing { every day since 16th june}- me and mum were so close -im an only one and we lost my dad in may- i promised dad i would look after mum but feel ive completely failed them - i couldn,t look after mum at home as planned as she became far too ill, bedbound incontinent etc and now i wasn,t with her at the end- i love both my parents so much- im sorry im not being rational as i know i could not control everything but im brokenhearted over the whole process of this terrible disease