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Time to give in?

Cinder

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
66
We have managed my MIL for nearly 2 years in our home. We have tried every strategy to help her eat & stay involved in life. We have nagged and nagged to get her out of bed and to wash and now to eat.
Lately she is eating and drinking almost nothing. She spends most of her time asleep in bed or in her chair.
Should we keep nagging her to get up and eat & do things or is it time to let nature take its course? She is still fairly articulate but can't or won't tell us what is going on.we've had the doctor up & she assures us there is nothing physically stopping her eating...




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Stresshead

Registered User
Sep 13, 2014
96
Cinder I was just thinking about posting about practically the same thing.

My father is 84, has been living with us for nearly 3 years, has had multiple hospital admissions this year with infections. He has just come out after 5 weeks in hospital and is now incontinent, hardly eating or drinking, barely able to walk or even stand up and spending alot of time sleeping.

I too am worried sick and wonder if this is the beginning of the end.

I'm sorry for crashing your post but hope any replies will help me as well.

I wish you strength along this horrible journey .Xx


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looviloo

Registered User
May 3, 2015
463
Cheshire
Sorry to hear that you're having such a difficult time.. it's a frustrating situation to be in. I have a couple of thoughts that may or may not apply. Do you all eat together? MIL might be most likely to eat when others around her are eating, even if she has no appetite. Also, is there anything that she will eat in preference to other things? It goes against the grain to feed only sweet things, for example, but if she'll eat them perhaps it's time to give in and feed an 'unbalanced' diet, if only for a while.

As for the lack of motivation, I'm not sure what to suggest, but I'm sure others will be able to help :)
 

Cinder

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
66
Stress head- sorry you're in a similar place. It's so draining trying to figure out what's 'best'.
Loovilo- we have been through the fussy eating stage since she first moved in. We always ate together as a family, kids too. She would eat small amounts of the same meal. She has had soups and cakes as well as ice-cream until the last few months. She has stopped eating anything resembling solid food, eats soup only under duress (and I mean having to be quite forceful) and now she is even starting to not finish her milkshake supplement drinks which she has always gobbled down. I just feel that we are 'forcing' her to eat & maybe that's not the best option for her?


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Cinder

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
66
Thank you. I'm sorry to be so negative. It just gets so wearing.
We don't have admiral nurses in our area but I'll try the email & see if they can offer any advice.
Thanks again.



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looviloo

Registered User
May 3, 2015
463
Cheshire
Thank you. I'm sorry to be so negative. It just gets so wearing.
We don't have admiral nurses in our area but I'll try the email & see if they can offer any advice.
Thanks again.

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Oh gosh, no apologies needed! I'm feeling on the negative side myself at the moment, I'm sure we all do at times. Tiredness and frustration take their toll. You need a way forward and a new plan of action... I hope the website I linked to can help you, or (another thought) a local carer's association? Go anywhere you can for the support you need. This forum is great, isn't it? I don't know what I'd do without it!!!
 

Stresshead

Registered User
Sep 13, 2014
96
Cinder I also have no Admiral Nurse in my area but I called them today. They really took time to talk to me but apart from all the things that you and I have been already doing they couldn't really offer any other advice. Although it was good to talk to someone who understands.

I've tried everything with regards to food and also had his mouth fully checked out whilst he was in hospital.

As I said, I can't help but wonder if his body is slowly but surely closing down.

If you want to talk it through with someone then I would recommend the Admiral Nurses even if it's just to get things off your chest.


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Cinder

Registered User
Dec 14, 2014
66
Thank you Stresshead.
I've just sent them an email via the link on their website so hopefully I'll get some joy there.
It his forum really is wonderful! Everyone is so kind.
☺


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