My husband has Alzheimer’s and is rapidly deteriorating. This evening he became angry following embarrassment at forgetting where I was when I left him and our 2 year old grandson ( who was fast asleep) in the car while I collected the older grandson from school - something we have done before. When I got back to the car after no more than 10 minutes, he was standing outside it, desperately looking for me with no memory of where I had gone.
This turned into anger and he set off to walk home - a route of about 3 miles which he has done many times before. I couldn’t leave the children but notified my son who comes home from work via the same route. He didn’t see my husband at all and the tracker only recorded the school car park from an hour before.
I set off on a different route and found my husband walking along in the pitch dark, wearing a dark coat on a road with no pavement. He got into the car very reluctantly, insisting he knew where he was - he didn’t.
This is the latest incident in a steady decline - the saga includes very insanitary behaviour with the toilet and faeces; not showering but running the shower, pulling up his sleeves and shaving his forearms; wearing the same clothes day and night and resisting any change; total incoherence all the time; poor table manners, which has never been the case before, chopping food up and mashing it together; frequent angry outbursts which are better controlled by a change to Memantine. And everything is my fault - whatever happens is a result of me upsetting him.
I have lived like this for long enough - how is someone admitted to a care home? Either for respite or on a permanent basis? How bad does the person have to be? How do I start the process?
I would really appreciate advice from people who have been in this situation
This turned into anger and he set off to walk home - a route of about 3 miles which he has done many times before. I couldn’t leave the children but notified my son who comes home from work via the same route. He didn’t see my husband at all and the tracker only recorded the school car park from an hour before.
I set off on a different route and found my husband walking along in the pitch dark, wearing a dark coat on a road with no pavement. He got into the car very reluctantly, insisting he knew where he was - he didn’t.
This is the latest incident in a steady decline - the saga includes very insanitary behaviour with the toilet and faeces; not showering but running the shower, pulling up his sleeves and shaving his forearms; wearing the same clothes day and night and resisting any change; total incoherence all the time; poor table manners, which has never been the case before, chopping food up and mashing it together; frequent angry outbursts which are better controlled by a change to Memantine. And everything is my fault - whatever happens is a result of me upsetting him.
I have lived like this for long enough - how is someone admitted to a care home? Either for respite or on a permanent basis? How bad does the person have to be? How do I start the process?
I would really appreciate advice from people who have been in this situation
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