Thinking outside the box - exporting my sun loving dad!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by flossielime, Mar 16, 2015.

  1. flossielime

    flossielime Registered User

    May 8, 2014
    #1 flossielime, Mar 16, 2015
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2015
    Well this is just thinking aloud so to speak. My dad is currently in hospital and the pressure from everyone to put him in a nursing home. But ALL those looked at locally are not suitable. Basically dark, dingy and no idea how to meet his needs. Plus very expensive. He needs 24 hour one to one care. I want this at home but I am being fought by social services and now the nurses at the hospital. Despite him only needing one person to help him mobilize in hospital all seem to think home even with a team of carers having him at home would be unsuitable.

    So thoroughly depressed by the local homes I have just had a look at care homes in India (my brother lives there) and Thailand (we have been there several times on holiday and have friends there)and they look great by comparison. Particularly as my dad has always loved the sun. I realise this may have changed now AD is advanced but all previous summers my dad happily lies in the garden soaking up the sun dawn to dusk. He is so much happier in the sun. I am I mad thinking of sending him to the sun? I should point out that this is just a left field idea, but do desperate times call for desperate measures?
  2. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    Hi Flossielime

    When I look back to start of my symptoms, I kept saying I need the sun, though have never been a sunlover but more a sun avoider previously. Am always much better in the summer.

    Desperate measures may be just what's needed. Acting outside of the box, starts with thinking outside the box

    All the best as you make some tough decisions.

    If Sylvia & Helen's India experience is to go by definitely a consideration.:)

  3. lizzybean

    lizzybean Registered User

    Feb 3, 2014
    What about possible language barriers?
  4. flossielime

    flossielime Registered User

    May 8, 2014
    Well given that all the nurses /carers in the hospital have questionable (that may be a little unfair - i understand them ok but my deaf demented dad struggles a bit with the Indian, Filipino, Polish, Zimbabwean etc nurses) English. To be honest most of the care staff in the homes I have looked at have English as a second language.
  5. Raggedrobin

    Raggedrobin Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    It is an interesting idea. There has been a lot of discussion about this in the media, but generally I have only heard of it for people requiring nursing care, not dementia care. However I would think your Dad may also need family support. You said your brother lives in India, but would he be willing to be the sole family representative? Are you thinking of living out there in India or Thailand as well? If not, he is going to lose everything he knows and it could be frighteningly disorientating for him.

    How would you fly him there? Is he well enough to travel? If he is, would it be better to try thr idea on a temporary basis, with you out there, to see how he copes and whether you can find staff that suit him? With the best will in the world, making sure he is getting good care would be difficult from a distance. What if you got an abusive or dishonest carer? How will you ever know?

    What will you do financially if he requires serious hospital healthcare over there? You would have to pay for all his care costs in hospital, too.
    But mostly I wonder how he would cope with a slightly alien environment. Making sense of the world is hard enough with dementia, and while you can probably find English speaking carers without difficulty, the food and culture would all be different, even if efforts were made to make food etc that was meant to be 'British'?
    As I say, an interesting idea, but an awful lot of questions to ask yourself about it.
  6. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    SW London
    More than once I have told my daughters that if I ever need 24/7 care, God forbid, they are to find me a nice cheap care home in India. They said, 'Don't worry, Mum - we will!'

    They were joking - I wasn't. I hadn't thought about hospital costs, but presumably insurance would be quite a bit cheaper than here. Although my Living Will states that if I ever develop dementia then as far as possible Nature must be allowed to take its course, I want no life-prolonging medication or interventions at all, so I would hope that aside from fractures there would not be too much to pay for.
  7. flossielime

    flossielime Registered User

    May 8, 2014
    I had thoughts of it last night but I couldn't actually do it. I cant even manage a day without visiting him in hospital. I am too controlling I need to know what is going on and that he is being well carer for. In reality although he would love the sun and food probably (he has a cosmopolitan palate after years in the navy) I would not rest and I had not though about hospital bills.
  8. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012

    Find a job on other country and go with him (thinking more out of box).

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