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Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by POPPIT, Jun 12, 2013.
Any views on this please.
I am afraid I would set a trap .... with a hidden camera... Sorry but I have seen too many caught on cameras to think its anything else but the carers.
if proven which steps need to be taken to prove it .... this is stealing and very serious.. the carers are abusing the trust ... a criminal offence.
listen to me accusing ... are you sure she has no other visitors ?
You might be right to be suspicious, although you wouldn't think a carer would take a whole handbag.
There are videos. I think they can be tiny and sold in anything. Sometimes called nanny cam or spy cam! Lots on E bay. Google them.
It would set your mind at rest one way or the other.... I actually saw a programme on TV where a carer (whom they had trusted for years) was helping herself to money from her client's purse. The family set up a secret video in the kitchen and caught her in the act.
ShadowO1, I also wondered if mum had other visitors...or a secret life!
mum does get visitors but only when we are there because we have to let them in. The only people who can get access are the carers and us. I don't want to believe it is happening but I have an awful gut feeling and if I am right it truly sickens me, but thank you for your input, appreciated.
Poppit, go with your gut feeling. You seem pretty sure. I am sorry this is happening and can well understand that it makes you feel sick.
thanks starry UK, yeah stinks doesn't it. Would not be so bad if my mums stuff were worth taking but they are not. One thing though was a necklace my late dad gave her on the day they married and it has gone. I just know it is not my mum who has moved them she is so frail she can only get in and out of bed with help. Thank you though. Have just been looking at those camaras on Ebay, just hope though I cant get into trouble for using one. I suppose I could say it is to keep an eye on mum?
Think i'd try calling their bluff.
I'd leave a note in mums purse, or a place where I know they are going and shouldn't be.
''We know you are stealing from Mum, her stuff comes back and money returned and no more will be said, otherwise we will involve the police.''
If this is put in a place you know very well they shouldn't go, who will be upset by it? The person that goes poking about.
Good idea, and if the stuff comes back I would not touch it but call the police.
It makes me feel physically sick. It can only be worse for you. I am so sorry. Cameras in and catch them. If they are innocent then no harm done as the cameras will show that
If they are not caught in the act then you do not have proof they did it.
If they are not held to account then not only could they do it to your mum but other vulnerable people as well.
I know it isn't the same but many years ago whilst on holiday with my OH we stayed in a guest house.
I suspected that something was wrong as we had too many mirrors in our room (and they reflected every angle)
I said to my OH that I was uncomfortable and did not trust we were not being watched...
after many days I convinced my OH to remove the suspect mirror (we went out and bought a screwdriver) ... to his horror and for me just confirmation...... yes there was a giant hole in the wall with a curtain in between
I called the police who said ... if you cannot prove he (the B&B owner) is watching you... then we do not have a case as he could say it was already there and he had nothing to do with it .... so we did... we set a trap and caught him .. he was indeed prosecuted (it is a much longer and funnier story ...for another day )
but the gist is ... you have to prove it .....
and think of the others who have been victim or are yet to be victim
this site has many different ones
I looked at the clock spy camera and it seemed to have bad reviews
If this was me then I would contact the police. They have the means to mark money etc and they can do surveillance etc in such a way that the evidence will stand up in court. If I was a carer and had done nothing wrong I would accept in the circumstances that it should have been looked into. It is such a disgusting crime that if the carer did do it, then I would want the full force of the law to follow swiftly!
The likelihood is that it just one carer (I assume you have several?) and I would agree with everyone else - you do need to take action because it's a disgusting thing to do. Quite apart from the fact that this sort incident makes you look at all the carers with suspicion and I was a professional carer, I wouldn't want to tarnished by being associated with one rotten apple (mixed my metaphors there I think). Is it possible to work out which one is a likely suspect?
If they are doing it to your mother, you know they are doing it to other people. I think the police, as Fiona suggested, is the best option.
Something similar happened with my mum a number of years ago, at the start of the dementia, in the end I thought I was going mad because I would give her the pension next thing she would be on the phone stating that she never had it and I was then supplementing her from my own wages. Some people thought mum was hiding the money herself but my mother had a moneybox for her only grandchild a winnie the pooh design and that disappeared. I did speak to the Police but as my mum was in a distressed state and her memory failing and due to her health issues she refused to go to court. I wish we had a camera, later on our neighbour mentioned she had seen this person hanging around the house in the early mornings, we changed all the locks as well, im sure a few thousands went missing, and the culprit got away with it, transpired since that she is in alcoholic. Unfortunately my mother is now wary of carers and soon we will hace to have additional ones when she moves in with me. But I will make sure that any cash is locked away etc once bitten twice shy.
May i suggest that you contact the local crime prevention officer? Not only will they be able to tell you whats legal but also they may have had report about somebody and perhaps they need more evidence.
I know when i had a neighbour with a problem like yours our PCSO would make a point of visiting the area when the " carer" was just leaving.
Yes the carer was stealing but was finaly caught due to the police putting a camera in and marking the money. The "carers" company thought that my neighbour was making it up but it was proved that several other people were having money taken.
I'd still get a camera installed, so you can see what's going on there.
On the contrary, the fact you found the bag makes more sense. Don't overlook the possibility that the reason that the bag was so well hidden indicates that your mum has some concerns that someone is stealing from her. It is all too easy to blame the dementia but sometimes you do find that the truth or partial truth is closer to the reality.
My mother hid stuff and complained about someone stealing from her. Unfortunately it wasn't until we got access to bank account that we found she was right and there was in excess of £5000 missing. Although evidence had been long gone, the police did interview all the carers and let them know they were now on the police radar!
I still think get a camera installed. Just to find out the truth and stop yourself wondering. You must be so worried and angry. It would put your mind at rest.
Could the handbag have been placed in the drawer and simply pushed towards and over the back as more stuff was put in there over time? Was the drawer full? Wondering why a thief would hide it. Maybe your mum did hide it? But could she?
This is all very odd. For a minute I wondered if your mum saw you hide the money. But then what has she done with it?...dismissed that idea. No. More likely someone is digging around in possible 'dementia type' hiding places to see what they can find...I think...maybe....
Get the camera...that's my vote!