1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

things can only get better?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by x-lauren-x, Apr 18, 2008.

  1. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    125
    hiya
    My uncles been in his new care home for 3 weeks now and the staff have been wonderful. They have tried to look after him in every way possible and have been so supportive to us as well. However, sadly last week things took a turn for the worst when my uncle ran away during dinner- the staff said they only took their eyes off him for a minute whilst passing a meal to another resident when she turned round and he had gone. As he was only in the general area not at EMI unit he wasnt in a secure room- so we were all worried of what was going to happen. However, one lady ran after him and managed to persuade him back in but he was very abusive and angry and wouldnt calm down so had to be taken upstairs to the EMI unit. I have to confess that i was really upset by this- everyhting was going so well and now it had all gone wrong. My mum felt bad too because we didnt want my uncle to stay in the EMI ward but knew that he couldnt be abusive and run away like this - he could so easily be knocked over in the road or injure a memebr of the staff when angry and we couldnt allow that to happen.
    The nurses have told me not to go in for a week or so, my mum has been and said its very different to downstairs- and that there are people with quite severe dementia , i agreed to wait a week or so to allow my uncle to settle ina little then see how things go.I know he doesnt mean to behave like this and i feel upset because i know he wouldnt want to have ended up this but he is still my uncle and a very good family freind and i know we will always be here to visit- my dad is going tomorrow so hopefully it will be a good day- my uncle seems to really look forward to seeing my dad so maybe he could be the familiar face my uncle needs now.
    sorry for such a long post- hope you are all well
    love
    lauren xxxxxxx
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,718
    Kent
    My mother has to be in a secure EMI unit lauren, because she too ran away and was at risk. It`s sad but necessary.

    Prepare yourself when you visit. They are not the happiest of places and you may be upset by some of the behaviours.

    But never forget, all the people you see were/are someone`s husband, wife, mother or father, sister or brother. The all led responsible lives and were probably good friends and colleagues.

    It is only the cruelty of dementia that caused them to end their lives in an EMI unit.
     
  3. EmJ

    EmJ Registered User

    Sep 26, 2007
    230
    Scotland
    Hi Lauren

    It's clear from your post how much you care about your uncle. It must be a very worrying time for you and your family. Your uncle is very lucky to have such a caring family to support him through this difficult time.

    Take care,

    EmJ :)
     
  4. x-lauren-x

    x-lauren-x Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    125
    Thank you both for your support- i think i was babbling a lot in my post but i feel much better writing it down so sorry if it didnt make a lot of sense!! Thank you for replying to me- its so nice to know there are lovely people to talk to when things are difficult :)
    My uncle had more success on the horses yesturday so my dad has just taken him up to collect his winnings as promised!!
    We both normally take him up to the bookies and then come back for a coffee but as my dad spent longer in the home he didnt have time for a coffee yesturday and to our suprise my uncle asked- so when are we going for coffee?
    my dad promised to take him tody so theyve gone for a bit of a mens morning out beofre the football this afternoon!
    Today seems to be a good day- i think every bad day is worth getting through just to have a few of these!
    Hope you are all ok , have a good weekend,
    Thanks again,
    love lauren xxxxxxx
     
  5. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Lauren,
    I think it is lovely that your Dad and Uncle have outings doing things together.
    It is a case of adding the good days to memories and taking each day as it comes.
    Good Luck.
    Christine
     

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