1. Q&A: "Loneliness and isolation" - Tuesday 30 Oct, 2-3pm

    Are you experiencing loneliness and isolation? Do you care for someone with dementia or have dementia yourself? We are here to answer your questions on this emotive topic. Our next expert Q&A will be hosted by Anne from our Helpline team. She will be answering your questions on Tuesday 30 October from 2-3pm. Want to ask questions in advance, or don’t think you can make it? You can either post questions here or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on Tuesday 30th of October from 2-3 pm.

    Pop by and post your questions now and we'll answer them on Tuesday.

They say they don't need help

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by queent, May 15, 2018.

  1. queent

    queent Registered User

    Jan 10, 2018
    Hi, Mum has early onset,last month she ended up in a hospital for a week,she is diabetic and insulin dependent,turns out she had been forgetting her injections and that resulted in her having a DKA, she very nearly died, she is home now but having had this attack her memory declined a lot quicker and more drastically, she now forgets far more than before, she has no interest in anything at all,only wants to sleep or lay on the sofa, the worrying thing is she is missing vital health care appointments, I have spoken with her GP,he assigned her a community Matron, I thought this was great as on speaking to her she told me she would check their meals/food ( Mum admits she doesn't cook no more and has no appetite) write all her appointments on the calendar and a few other things, I had to arrange this on the pretense it wasn't done via myself as my Dad is a very proud man and he doesn't like any of my siblings or I trying to help in anyway at all really, only a few things, he thinks cos he now runs the hoover around and washes up he is looking after her but he isn't, he forgets a lot, his is just old age, however they quite adamantly have insisted to the Matron that they are managing and don't need any help , she says there's not much she can do if they don't want help she can't force them, she says they are far from needing any kind of permanent care as they get up ,wash and dress every day and are quite active and independent Mum does have a district nurse in every morning and night to administer her the insulin, I insisted the hospital put this in place before discharging her and I sorted a dosset box for all her meds as she was missing loads of vital daily meds, basically Dad is scared,frightened,worried, etc but wont ever admit it, my worry is, where do I go now? If they are refusing help what can I do? PS Mum also has heart disease,colitis and very bad arthritis, she's fallen twice in 2 days last week, i'm so worried.
  2. mumsgone

    mumsgone Registered User

    Dec 23, 2015
    it is a very hard road to travel. sadly all the time they are refusing help and supposedly coping there is not a lot you can do.Has anybody suggested getting a careline put in? the more times your mum ends up in hospital through falls etc then the more likely it is that a care package will be put in place. Have you managed to get attendance allowance for them to help towards any carers or even someone to do housework etc ? Look after yourself as you need to keep your strength up for the future but try to maintain a voice of calm and reasoning with them
  3. queent

    queent Registered User

    Jan 10, 2018
    Thank you for your advice, I will look into attendance allowance, I do a bit of housework, what they let me, the matron says they don't need any care as they are both very capable and mobile etc. I'm just trying to go along with them for now, I like to think I am very calm most of the time.

Share This Page