My mum and I care for my dad with LBD, Parkinson’s and epilepsy. We reached the same point a couple of weeks ago so called the doctor. Dad had had a fall but recognizing our difficulties we took the advice of the doctor and had dad admitted for assessment via the social worker. He cannot walk alone, he needs 24 hour supervision, he needs feeding and he’s doubly incontinent. He pees everywhere unless we are watching him. My mother works tirelessly shaving, washing, etc and I help care and do all their admin and shopping. The strain is visible as my life has virtually ended in so much as I am carer and my poor mothers life revolves around dads bowel movements. He was admitted to MAU for 8 days then shifted to another ward. The OT was obsessed with dads mobility, making him try and feed himself etc. No consideration given that he cannot move his hands due to rheumatoid arthritis and cannot walk unaided due to a subdural hemorrhage. After a week of banned visiting, we bullied our way in to find he had lost a stone in weight. He hadn’t been washed or shaved. They put him on a ward for 3 days with no stimulation where we believe he was bullied. He packed his bags and cried and begged to come home. The OT was in denial saying how much progress he’d made...I believe to avoid the necessity for care as there is none. The advice of our GP was to apply for rest bite before it gets impossible. We are in a similar position where it’s so stressful but having seen what goes on in the NHS we are torn. Dads home, clean, fed etc. I act as my mums counselor which is also taking its toll on me, it’s never a good wake up call. The only thing to add is that you are not alone, I would talk to the family ask for help. Also give your doctor a ring to ask for some rest bite. My concern is the lack of support you seem to have around you. The thing is unless you’ve done what you are doing you cannot appreciate the strain. The guilt my mother feels in tangible but dads only been home a week and it’s already starting to show. Feel free to offload at any time.....remember you are doing an amazing thankless job......xx