The very very Early Signs which are very hard to detect

Ladywriter1968

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
438
0
London UK
Others with same signs

My Mother In Law now 86 is showing signs to, she rang up one of her sons in the middle of the night the other week to ask him where she was, she thought she was in a hotel and asked him if he was her son.

My friends step Mum is showing signs to, after friend told me I told her straight, she is getting dementia to like my Dad got. Her step Mum rang her at 6am for a chat and my mate said, I cant talk I got to leave to go to work, and her Mum thought it was the 6pm not AM. She in bed a lot to now. She is 81.
 

Ladywriter1968

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
438
0
London UK
Long or short gaps

Just a short time before our dog died Dad was cooking chicken that stank the place out, Dad could not smell it. Everyone could, even our dog stayed in the garden even she could smell it. After Dad carried on fine no more signs at all. Until couple years later

My Dad said he was being kept in a basement prison, he was actually in hospital. When he came out he had no memory of ringing me or saying this, they never put him on any heavy meds or sedation for him to be confused either, after this he was fine and there was no other signs at all. It was like a one off really. Like someone who had been heavily sedated that imagine what wasn't.

So OK, no more signs, then about 2 year later he said he had not seen the Only Fools And Horses episode and could not remember it. When we had seen it a dozen times previous, I said to him, you have seen it lots of times, he could not remember, I thought that's odd.

Time buzzed on and No more real signs, maybe about year later noticed he was in same clothes all the time. Then I had moved out by then not realising he was not eating properly and had stuff in the fridge growing green heads on it. Then his mate said to me your Dads not the same. I said what do you mean?

Then Dad kept feeding the neighbours cat as cat kept coming in, even when she asked him not to. I thought why is he doing this, neighbour was quite upset over it. I even said to him you should not give that to cat, its allergic it will be sick again. The cat kept coming in to see my Dad and would sleep on the chair to.

Then later he had a hole in his jumper and when I stayed over he had forgotten that I had stayed over and said, you got here early. But it was not one after the other signs, it was very gradual over the years.

Then as time when on all the signs started to build up one after another.
 

Ladywriter1968

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
438
0
London UK
signs

The problem with this illness is, and it was exactly the same for me, if you have never been around some one with dementia before, then you dont know what to look for and you dont see the early signs. with some other illnesses its broadcast what to look for, the signs, but with dementia there are no warning signs broadcast really to warn people what to look for.

Give a few examples, have an itchy wart, go and see your doctor straight away.
Women's certain problems what to check for on their breasts. If in doubt see your doctor asap. Lets face it, we all know what that could mean before seeing the doctor but we hope its not that. But the TV warn us of it. Even in papers. But how many TV ads do you see to give people warning signs with dementia. Not just an advert showing their Dad or Mum with it, but the early warning signs of this. Just to help people out so they know what to look for. They have this programme on TV with a doctor on it, cant think what its called. They cover all sorts of topics, but dementia has not been covered on it at all come to think of it.

We cant be expected to know what the illness is that we need to check for, if we dont know what signs to look for in the first place. And with the memory we just pass it as displacement. As also there are so many different medical reasons for poor memory. Mental illness, UTI infection, day dreaming, a bang to the head, concussion, personality disorders, there are so many. The memory is not one that leads to one thing always like other illnesses do.
 

Ladywriter1968

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
438
0
London UK
The curtain has come down on the stage

My Dad described once how he felt with his memory loss. He said, "its like the curtain dropping down on the centre stage". Like a blanket across my brain. My Dad was always very descriptive in his words anyway.

After reading lots from people, I can only say on behalf of myself. I never thought in a million years that my Dad would end up with this illness. As years ago he had a photographic memory, but a friend also said to me, maybe photographic memory can end up being memory overload, like an exploding battery. It cant take any more information and its had enough.

I hear certain old songs that take me back to when I was a child when Mum was alive, before either of them got sick. Although it makes me think of good times of then it also makes me feel very sad of now.

How do I deal with this? my way of dealing with it is to just "close down" when I visit Dad I just "close off from emotion" as that's my way of dealing with it, and since coming from a cold hearted unsupported relatives anyway, I am not saying its right or wrong way to deal with things, but its my way. I never had any around to turn to. So I just had to get on with it I guess. No siblings either so its been a tough old life, but what can we do, not much, accept just get on with it. As hard as it sounds its true. Not only do we get on with it, but we have to fight for everything we need as well. When I say fight, I mean row, argue with social services, hospitals, shove it in their faces, when we are tired. NO, we should not have to, but we do! its just the way it is. Because to them its just a job, and more paper work. Care in the community, whats that anyway, it dont exist. Its all about money and cut backs more then the persons well being. Everyone I have known in these situations have had to fight until they dropped to get anything done, and from reading here a few comments its the same again.
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,283
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SW London
SINCERE APOLOGIES oh my word....having just posted the above reply, I've seen the flipping length of it...I am SO sorry....I did not realise I had gone on and on and on....I am so embarrassed.........

Please don't feel embarrassed. The whole point of this place is that you can share things with people who understand. Alas, all too often the rest of the world just doesn't, and can't, because it hasn't been through it.

Reading through these posts, there seem to be some 'classic' signs we experienced with our two - the buying of umpteen packets of the same thing (with fil it was sausages) - failing to wash/shave, wearing scruffy, dirty clothes, not cleaning the house, and not even apparently being aware that it needed it.
All this quite apart from the forgetfulness and repeating themselves - it's all too easy to put this down to old age (esp. if you've already experienced dementia and are dreading another case) although with early onset I guess this symptom is easier (if a lot more dreadful) to identify.
 

dottyd

Registered User
Jan 22, 2011
1,063
0
n.e.
I know I put up a post similar before but I wanted to mention the very early signs of this illness which others around simply dont see or suspect anything being wrong, especially if you have never been around anyone with the illness.

Firstly, my Dad is in the later stages of it now, he cant walk anymore, has trouble seeing properly now, very weak, always getting UTI infections and generally unwell. He has to be encouraged now to eat and drink to, just forgets as quick as told. Has a catheter in and has had tummy infections a lot to. Although its hard I just have to block out my emotional side when I visit him. He does not say much now either and its very hard to get many words from him. Even when asking him a question the answer will not relate to the question.

But here are a few very early signs going on my Dad when he first started with it.
My Dad previous was very house proud and clean, he even used to iron his socks and pants, he was very fussy with everything. I think it may come from him being in the army years before. He was always vacuuming as well. Do his own cooking and everything really. Shoppping etc. He was an independent man really.

But then, these things he used to do started gradually stopping.

You see them wearing same jumper or trousers every day, then it may appear to have a hole in the jumper but they don't care or not aware its there, the shirt could be stained but they sit there with it on. When previous they would have not done this. The house becomes a mess. They may sweep stuff across the floor and leave it there, instead of picking it up and putting in the bin. The bin could be over crowded with stuff. You could find bits of food down the sofa. Washing left out dirty.

Then maybe they are buying the same food x 10. Instead of a variety of food, like buying 10 packs of ham and wasting money. Then you notice in the fridge that the ham has not been eaten and gone off. Drinks may have gone off. They lose weight and seem to not be eating properly. The fridge may look empty as well. The cupboards which old food in, like cornflakes out of date and been in there a while but no new stuff to replace it.

Washing powders may not be bought or old ones, then you ask, so what are they using to wash their in then? Or they may look like they have not washed or you can see they have not used the bath for some time.

They start to become slower in movements, like I noticed once it took Dad over 15mins to take a cup of tea. As he was moving very slow, maybe had to concentrate on what he was doing. So making tea or dinner or putting strange things with it, like with Dad he cooked a roast and by time he did the gravy the dinner was cold, he brought the dinner in half hour before making the gravy. Leaving the gas on more then once as well. Once I saw fat floating on the tea as well. Maybe he didn't wash the cup properly or something. Sense of smell starts to go. He was once cooking and it smelt bad and had gone off, but he could not smell it at all, but everyone else could, It stank the house out.

The conversation becomes less, if they was chatty before now they go very quiet, especially in groups of people. And if people all talk at once they put their hands over their ears and say, its all to loud or much or something like that, so cant handle all the information or noise.

They keep forgetting stuff all the time, or may have seen a programme lots of times and then suddenly say, I have not seen that before. or the neighbours cat may keep coming in and she ask him not to feed etc, but he keep forgetting and still feeds it.

Paying bills, arranging things, or booking things, cabs etc, this starts to become limited to and find when they go out, they rely more and more on their mates to do all this, ring up for cab etc. Or the address book is next to the phone yet they ask someone else to find it or phone for them. Or where is the address book when its next to the phone.

They may tell the same story over and over again and forgot they told you already. Their movements become slower and everything they do takes twice as long as before. They may start to lose their money or make new found friends that just take their money. But these type of friends always come with baggage and problems and these types of friends generally look scruffy, untrustworthy and half are probably criminals. They will say they lost their money in the street or down the sofa. Which could true. The first time, but when it keeps happening all the time then you know they are giving it away. They either have forgotten or they know and dont want to say.

You find them sitting for long periods starring at the TV but not really watching it. Or falling a sleep a lot in front of TV. Asking you to change the channels for them as they cant be bothered or cant work out the remote control any more.

Forget they saw you a few hours ago, once when I stayed over at Dads he forgotten I was there. Also they may go in the garden and just stand there starring into space. or trying to chat to passers by even. Become withdrawn.

Its a horrible illness and very slow process with some and fast with others. But if you never been around anyone with it, then its very hard to detect at first.

I hope this helps anyone who is having problems with a relative etc.

If you suspect your relative, friend of having this, go with them to the doctors and tell doctor you want an assessment on them for memory. It may not even be dementia but another illness. But at least after the tests the answers would be there, and to know what the next step of care if.

Hope you all have a happy christmas.

How long did all of this take please
 

Ladywriter1968

Registered User
Oct 2, 2009
438
0
London UK
The illness of the post?

You ask how long did it all take? do you refer to the post or the illness?

The illness depends on individual and the post, I just sat and thought about it and typed it out.
 

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