The Up's and Down's

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Acco, Jun 10, 2015.

  1. Acco

    Acco Registered User

    Oct 3, 2011
    228
    #1 Acco, Jun 10, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2015
    DOWN
    Friday evening - tried to support Pat in getting her standing in preparation for moving/undressing and ready for bed. She moaned, stared ahead and limbs went rigid and shook, lasting 10 to 15 secs. Was slurred in 'normal' speech and confused for some time. Concerned, I prepared temporary bed in situ and once reasonably satisfied she was stable, with extreme effort managed to somehow get her into jimjams and put her to bed. I stayed downstairs with her for 2hrs trying to sleep on the couch but eventually gave up.
    Quiet day Saturday lest things crop up again.
    UP
    Sunny, warm day on Sunday so got Pat up, breakfasted (just before noon) washed gingerly and briefly, and into wheelchair for an outing. Enjoyed 2hrs of exercise, fresh air and sunshine and Pat was responsive and happy from word go. Great result meant the initial effort of readying for the outing was worthwhile - both very happy at our achievement.
    DOWN
    Monday was hard work getting Pat out of bed, dressed, washed, fed and watered but we got through it to then struggle getting her redied and into bed.
    Tuesday was a non starter first thing. Pat unresponsive in bed so let her sleep. Visited her later but still unresponsive so let her sleep/doze. Tried again, and again, and again until with a bit of grit and determination on my part I hoisted (man handled) her out of bed, did minimum necessary to get her washed and dressed (got her kneeling, laying, whichever way necessary so could pull pants, nickers and trousers onto her) and into wheelchair. Breakfasted by 3.30pm. Pat quiet, leaning to one side and bent forward in wheelchair. Evening, lifted her from wheelchair onto couch ready for dinner I had prepared - eaten with little problem. Bedtime now. Hard work getting Pat to support herself - deadweight as though muscle control not there. Struggled, but eventually got her undressed/dressed ready for bed using similar tactics as morning. Sat with her on bed whilst administering tablets with drink. Nearly sorted now. Usual sing songs but Pat not joining in as per usual and then laid her down in bed, covered, kissed her goodnight and turned to leave so I could have a few quiet moments to myself. Oh no, there is a white tablet on the floor - must have spit it out whilst I wasn't looking. Important anti-seizure medication so uncovered her, lifted Pat to sitting position, tablet and more water swallowed. Job done so go through same routine to settle her and this time I get away. A few quiet moments to settle and recover and then off to bed myself but check Pat is OK before going upstairs to sleep in bed by myself - this is new to me since Friday.
    Thought: Will tomorrow be an UP or DOWN day?
    Answer: Whatever, we will strive to keep the ship afloat.
     
  2. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Acco, what an incredibly moving account of two peoples' struggle with dementia. I take my hat off to you, you are doing a truly amazing job :)

    Just a thought: have you asked for, or would you want, any help in caring for Pat? I feel sure you and she would be eligible for help. Have you had an assessment of both your care and support needs?

    It would be difficult for an agency to do what you do, but perhaps a private carer, maybe paid for through direct payments, could be of some help?

    Also do you have any equipment? I can't help but think if your poor back, with your Pat needing so much assistance.....

    Hope you get some sleep and that tomorrow is an UP day :)

    Lindy xx
     
  3. Aitchbee

    Aitchbee Registered User

    Nov 3, 2013
    87
    Hello Acco. I recognise a lot of the ups and downs you talk about in your post. Each day I wonder what kind of day it will be. Like Lindy said it might be worth looking into what help you can get. We have a hoist to move Mum with and carers coming in to assist with personal care. It sounds like you are doing a great job on your own but you need to look after your back. I think we are having an UP day today as Mum is awake. Might even go outside if it is warm enough!
     
  4. Acco

    Acco Registered User

    Oct 3, 2011
    228
    Thank you both for the lovely supportive comments.
    Today was a DOWN day, what with the difficulties in trying to get help (see my earlier post today, Frustrated/Angry), and to cap it all after I became concerned about Pat's sleepiness and being unresponsive this morning she was taken into hospital under emergency - at the present time I am trying to establish her status at the hospital. I am hoping tomorrow will be a really good UP day with Pat back to her 'normal' self.
     
  5. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    I'm sorry to hear that Pat is in hospital, Acco, and that today was a down day :(

    Have posted on your other thread and am hoping tomorrow goes better.

    Take care

    Lindy xx
     
  6. Aitchbee

    Aitchbee Registered User

    Nov 3, 2013
    87
    Hello Acco. So sorry that you are having such a bad time (definitely a DOWN day). I hope Pat is much recovered tomorrow
     

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