We don't always treat each other as we'd hope to do. I'm reminded of my own recent experiences reacting to one neighbour who'd been bereaved and a friend whose irritating ailments had just been diagnosed as terminal illness, likely to result in death within weeks.
In each case, I was painfully aware that more sensitivity and better words were required of me than I could offer. A hug - to make up for the trite words - wasn't possible in either situation. So you do the best you can, knowing the worst disservice is to ignore the other person because you can't find the right words to say.
I think your friends, having stumbled across a situation they couldn't handle, shared the same embarrassment you and I would feel in other circumstances.
In each case, I was painfully aware that more sensitivity and better words were required of me than I could offer. A hug - to make up for the trite words - wasn't possible in either situation. So you do the best you can, knowing the worst disservice is to ignore the other person because you can't find the right words to say.
I think your friends, having stumbled across a situation they couldn't handle, shared the same embarrassment you and I would feel in other circumstances.