Hi, I'm really struggling to deal with mum repeating herself over and over saying the same things and asking me the same questions. I've just spent an hour with her before I'd had enough and I left feeling mentally exhausted. Other than walking away are there any tips because I get so frustrated. One example which I get everyday is she says there's no dog meat so I'll show her there is a cupboard full of it. A while later she'll say the same again and this goes on the whole time I'm with her. It's so frustrating.
The repeating
- Thread starter ian01
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@ian01 If only there was an easy answer to this issue, so many of us have to deal with it on a daily basis and it is just to tiring and hard to deal with. Sometimes you just have to do what you did and walk away for a while.
You can try distraction techniques - for example - yes mum we must get more dog food but not today. Now would you like a cup of tea and a biscuit. It might just work.
I always make sure there is plenty of dog food, it's just so tiring having to keep telling her there is plenty of it.
Yes it is hard, but try to distract her with a cup of tea or watching something on TV or anything else that you can think of. I do know that you are going through and it is difficult and tiring.
Depending on the layout of her home, it might not be practical, but have you considered moving the dog food to somewhere where it’s visible without having to open a cupboard door (eg in the open, or in a cupboard with a glass door)? For people with dementia, out of sight is sometimes out of mind, because they can’t visualise where something is when they can’t immediately see it.
It's a case of out of sight, put of mind, I'm afraid. OH obsessed with soup, Ratatouille and.... Dishwasher tablets. I keep cans of soup and Ratatouille on the worktop. Dishwasher tablets in small box in drawer, heavily labelled "There are more in the bag under the table". I bought 90.00 worth a year ago to allay his obsession. He'd been buying at random, then deciding they were the wrong type. I gave those away.
Living in Dementia World is hard for everybody.
I think @phill and @Alisongs suggestions of keeping the dog food out are probably the best way to go. My mother obsessed about her car. "Where's my car?" was the dreaded question, said in the most suspicious voice ever. Her car was in British Columbia and we were in Ontario. I heard that question every day for at least 6 months. it drove me mad at first, but eventually I learned to roll with it (usually).
Try to think of the constant repetition as another symptom of the disease, which it is. Some days I was successful in not getting upset and annoyed, other days not. We're human.
Try to think of the constant repetition as another symptom of the disease, which it is. Some days I was successful in not getting upset and annoyed, other days not. We're human.
It’s exhausting isn’t it? my mum keeps asking the same questions over and over, particularly if she’s stressed, then it becomes literally every few seconds. It’s so hard. I wholly sympathise. I’m so sorry you’re in this situation.
The one I remember with mum was, 'So did you have a nice Christmas?' For more than 6 months, every time I visited her in the CH she would ask this, then repeat it throughout my visit ad infinitum.
I must admit, I got so fed up with it that I started getting inventive with my answers because I knew she wasn't taking in whatever I said even though she could 'go through the motions' of conversation. I recall telling her (and I know I shouldn't have!) that we'd been to the moon for Christmas that year. She simply replied, 'Oh, did you? There was nothing here - I didn't get any presents or even a card!' (Her usual complaint.
There were times I left the CH after visiting when my brain just felt fried by her endless confabulations.
It is what it is, sadly. I wish you patience.
I must admit, I got so fed up with it that I started getting inventive with my answers because I knew she wasn't taking in whatever I said even though she could 'go through the motions' of conversation. I recall telling her (and I know I shouldn't have!) that we'd been to the moon for Christmas that year. She simply replied, 'Oh, did you? There was nothing here - I didn't get any presents or even a card!' (Her usual complaint.
There were times I left the CH after visiting when my brain just felt fried by her endless confabulations.
It is what it is, sadly. I wish you patience.
Yep it's not easy to deal with. I'm a very patient person but struggling with the repeating.
I am a very patient person but this is particular difficult to deal with. I answer her questions before she's finished asking them as I know what she's going to ask.
@ian01 I'd take the tins out of the cupboard and put them on the side so she could see them . Might work?
It might lead to repetition of another question but distraction is the key.
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