My husband was always eager to help people, and keen to be helpful in our home ( as long as I asked him to do things he liked doing). Now he has Dementia, and can't always make sense of what people say, but he still wants to help.
It's been gradually getting more and more difficult to find jobs that he can do. I used to ask him to take out the rubbish to the dustbin but now he's forgotten where the dustbin is. I used to be able to ask him to set the table, but now he doesn't even know where the table is, let alone the mats and cutlery. Once I could ask him to make a mug of coffee, but now he doesn't even know where the mugs or the coffee are, not the kettle, or even how to fill it. If I ask him to do something now, what it really means is that I stand beside him explaining every step of what he has to do, and showing him where everything is.
So the easiest option, especially when I'm tired and busy, is to ignore his need to help and do everything myself. AND OF COURSE HE GETS UPSET AND FEELS USELESS.
Apart from having lots of visitors to distract him, has anyone got any ideas for how to cope with this?
It's been gradually getting more and more difficult to find jobs that he can do. I used to ask him to take out the rubbish to the dustbin but now he's forgotten where the dustbin is. I used to be able to ask him to set the table, but now he doesn't even know where the table is, let alone the mats and cutlery. Once I could ask him to make a mug of coffee, but now he doesn't even know where the mugs or the coffee are, not the kettle, or even how to fill it. If I ask him to do something now, what it really means is that I stand beside him explaining every step of what he has to do, and showing him where everything is.
So the easiest option, especially when I'm tired and busy, is to ignore his need to help and do everything myself. AND OF COURSE HE GETS UPSET AND FEELS USELESS.
Apart from having lots of visitors to distract him, has anyone got any ideas for how to cope with this?