Hi all,
My mum is still relatively young to be suffering from Alzheimer's (just 67) but is very much in the severe stages and was admitted to a care home last year. We are in the process of reviewing her medication but she's not good - very upset and agitated most of the time. I couldn't love my mum any more, but to be honest visits are just horrible. The things I see and experience most times I go are just heart wrenching and I know that many of you forum members will sadly go through the same thing each time you visit a loved one.
What I would like to know is how do you deal with it?!
On a daily basis I can cope no problem - I visit, I have a quick cry in the car on the way home and life carries on. BUT. I just feel this distance creeping in between my friends and I. They are all very well meaning and ask how mum is and how things are going but I never really know what to say. I tell them if she's having a good phase or a bad phase, and all the practicalities like the joy(!) of trying to get CHC funding, but find I can't tell them the horrors that I really see and go through. They just wouldn't understand and there's nothing really to be said. I feel like I have a huge secret hanging over my head. And it's so relentless - it's not like I can have a sad story one week and after some positive words of encouragement report back that things are improving, they aren't and they won't, and given her young age it's likely to continue this way - or worse - for many years to come.
Does this make any sense?! Does anyone else know what I mean, and if so how do you deal with this?
Any shared experiences very much appreciated!
My mum is still relatively young to be suffering from Alzheimer's (just 67) but is very much in the severe stages and was admitted to a care home last year. We are in the process of reviewing her medication but she's not good - very upset and agitated most of the time. I couldn't love my mum any more, but to be honest visits are just horrible. The things I see and experience most times I go are just heart wrenching and I know that many of you forum members will sadly go through the same thing each time you visit a loved one.
What I would like to know is how do you deal with it?!
On a daily basis I can cope no problem - I visit, I have a quick cry in the car on the way home and life carries on. BUT. I just feel this distance creeping in between my friends and I. They are all very well meaning and ask how mum is and how things are going but I never really know what to say. I tell them if she's having a good phase or a bad phase, and all the practicalities like the joy(!) of trying to get CHC funding, but find I can't tell them the horrors that I really see and go through. They just wouldn't understand and there's nothing really to be said. I feel like I have a huge secret hanging over my head. And it's so relentless - it's not like I can have a sad story one week and after some positive words of encouragement report back that things are improving, they aren't and they won't, and given her young age it's likely to continue this way - or worse - for many years to come.
Does this make any sense?! Does anyone else know what I mean, and if so how do you deal with this?
Any shared experiences very much appreciated!