Thank you all for support

[putsch]

Dear All

I started posting earlier this year when Mum's condition deteriorated due to a severe stroke.

Sadly my main problem was a difficult sibling and I was at my wits end as to how to deal with her - at one stage the NH was saying they needed her (the sister!) to be controlled or else.......

After a number of further strokes poor Mum died peacefully earlier this month in the NH. She was in such a poor situation that it would have been very hard to wish her to continue.

Of course sister has continued the psychological warfare until the end and since - to some extent blunting the feelings that should be there for Mum but I am much less distressed by her behaviour because there is no longer a vulnerable 91 year old in the middle of it.

Your help, during the most distressing episodes, was invaluable. I had exhausted the ears of my friends and emigrant siblings and anyway they didn't really understand as you all did.

So thanks again and please keep up the support for all of those who come after me!

 

[TinaT]

The best way to say thank you is to contribute yourself when you can. There will always be someone in need of support who is going through what you have endured.

I'm so sorry about your mother. I recently lost my husband and agree with your feelings that although I wish with all my heart he was here, with me and whole and hearty, that was not to be and I too am glad he is no longer in the pittiable state he was.

xxTinaT

 

[Jaycee23]

Sibling problems

I know exactly what you have been going through and I am still having to deal with a brother who continually abuses my mother emotionally. She was recently sectioned and they cannot get her depression under control and she is constantly crying. When I went to visit her, my brother was there with a member of staff and he immediately started to shout at me to get out telling me I was not wanted and it was my fault she had been sectioned and that I do nothing for her (unbelievable as I had done all the banking arrangements, doctors appointments, opticians, daycentres etc) and that mum did not want to see me. My mum was sitting there and what did the member of staff do? she got up and said she would be back later to continue her questions to my brother!! He hates me and uses mum to get at me as I will not retaliate as it affects my mum. Social Services say they know what he is doing and he has argued with the doctors and I have warned them that he emotionally abuses her saying I am going to sell the house and my husband is bad and now mum calls my husband a paedo and my brother just laughs and encourages her. He is evil and just getting away with it. The alz society support worker and social services just tell me that they do not get involved in family arguements but this IS AFFECTING my mother. My sister and I have power of attorney and he is so angry. I have been accused of all sorts and no one wants to know. Its devasting dealing with people with dementia and made worse when people like to be verbally abusive. He has a personality disorder (he does not accept it). I feel like walking away.

 

[Christin]

Hello Putsch, please accept my condolences on the loss of your Mum. So many members will understand how you feel, often it is a release to let someone go, but a sadness all the same.

I am so pleased that you found TP a help.

Very best wishes to you. x

 

[LYN T]

sorry my main post was deleted by myself! I will try again later