thank God for tp

[Tender Face]

i am answering my own question

Bel, I think that is another 'Thank God for TP' - sometimes just being able to get our thoughts down into words and share them with others here who we know will understand is our own 'thinking out loud' .... (doesn't mean they have to agree with our conclusion) .... Love Karen, x

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Bel. I always go in when my husband sees the doctor. I tell him , jokingly, he never tells me the whole story and I need to know. It has also got to the stage where my husband doesn`t know what to tell the doctor, so he needs me to start him off.
He had the same examination your husband will have tomorrow. The doctor found an enlarged prostate. He has given him tablets called Tamsulosin, and they have done the trick. I hope it`s the same for you. Love Sylvia x

 

[Margarita]

I got a phone call today from mum carer at care home, saying that mum needs shock as its very cold so she ask them to ask me to bring some in I explained that I am very far away from the respite care home mum in and do not have a car , I know it’s a ploy from mum trying to get me in to visit , anyway carer told me oh your mother is a right chatter box , gosh I was taken back she said that they is Spanish carer that talk to mum in Spanish.

Carer told me that mum says she on holiday (at respite) I find it amazing now much better mum gets when in respite, I told carer that I have been really stress lately so my communication with my mother before respite was strained

What I am trying to say is Bel, may be you need a rest from caring , but your circumstances are not the same as mine , so you can’t have a respite so don’t feel guilty in anyway if you feel you are being moody , I get like that also and I don’t blame you . I cannot imagine what it would be like if I had a husband and he had dementia and I had to care for him , don’t think I could do it , but them I have not felt the love that you must feel for your husband, I remember seeing you both on that video on BBC1 , you both look so lovely seem to me that you have had a hard time last year , I do hope that this year is more chilling for you , if that is possible xx

 

[bel]

doctors tommorrow

THANKS AGAIN ALL
YOU ARE ALL SO SPECIAL
and it has helped i am doing what hubby always does making a joke of it never had sence of humor before he was ill
i told him tonight tell your friend you need to be back at 10 for doctors tommorrow i will tell him myself he replied yes cos i need to change my pants he has follow througs i said WELL ITS LIKE WHEN WE WERE KIDS our parents always said clean underwear in case you had an accident he fell about laughing
love bel xx

 

[bel]

doctors

felt like a mum taking her child to the doctors only my child was my husband before we went he said he could go with his mate save me closing shop --not an option sat in waiting room making jokes to try to lighten it for him when we went in hubby said nothing so i explained we have not seen this gp before so i had to say hubby has dementia GOD it hurt ---hubby did not batter an inch thank GOD cos i was hurting enough for two
he told him to get on table an examined his back passage he looked like a lost child doctor pulled curtain but the way the seat was possitioned for me i could see i turned away when he examined him for hubby not me --but while doc put on his gloves before drawing curtain hubby looked back at me i said are you ok he said yes but looked like a lost child only took minuets then hubby nearly fell off table
i am pooring my heart out to you all and i cant go on tonight cos i am crying result we hope not to bad mor tests but hopeful he went out with his mate afterwards when he came back i said i have a head ache he said worrying about me -yes i feel awful talking for you making you feel like a child etc he said it does not worry me at all you worry more than me i am fine thanks all love bel xx

 

[Amy]

Bel love,
I don't think that you are making your husband feel like a child, from what you say. He seems to understand that he has dementia, he seems to understand that you are doing all that you can to help him, out of love. Stop beating yourself up - there is enough for you to contend with, without you hurting yourself. You are not treating him as a child; if his leg had been chopped off, would you stand him at the bottom of a flight of stairs and say "climb that" - no, you would sort out a lift, or find other ways to enable him to climb. That is all that you are doing with your husband now - enabling him to do what needs doing - the doctor needed visiting, he was not in a position to do it alone, you enabled it to happen.
Stop worrying - just enjoy what you can - you've obviously got a good husband there.
Love Helen

 

[Skye]

Hi Bel


Amy's right, you've got to stop beating yourself up. You're doing a great job caring for your husband, and he knows this.

There are always going to be things people with AD can't do, and it's our job to help them. I've had to go with John to the GP and hospital appointments for years, because he can't communicate. John accepts this. I've recently even started going in to the dentist's surgery and the hairdresser's.

I try to give him independence in other ways, but the opportunities are getting fewer an fewer. You're lucky that your husband can still go out with his mate. Hang on to that for as long as possible.

Just hang in there, bel, it's a terrible disease, and all we can do is try to make things as easy as possibly for our loved ones.

You're doing great.

Love,

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Bel, From your post it sounds as if you are protecting your husband unnecessarily. I`m sure he knows what`s wrong, it just hurts you too much to talk about it openly with him.
He said the same as my husband said to me, `You worry too much.` I`m not for a minute saying you do worry too much, we all worry, but I think our husbands know this and, when they are in a good frame of mind, recognize it.
At least, as Hazel said, it is wonderful that he can still go out with a friend.
You are doing better than you give yourself credit for.
I hope the results are OK. Love Sylvia xx

 

[daughter]

Hi Bel,

I agree with Helen, Hazel and Sylvia, you're doing so well and I'm sure your husband would say the same. Big hug. x

 

[bel]

being too hard on myself

i know you are right
he has never wanted to discuss dementia or know what will happen down the road and i except that ---
i am feeling a bit better today after doctors is over till next week and i am so glad i told you all it has helped big time i will take on board what you have all said and i thank you IS IT TOO LATE TO MAKE A NEW YEARS RESALUTION --i will try not to beat my self up so much i am doing the best i can like all of you are
sending love bel xxxxxxxxx

 

[Grannie G]

That`s the spirit Bel. It`s never too late to make a new years resolution. It`s lovely to see you are beginning to accept you`re doing the best you can. We can`t change what we`re given, we just have to get on with it, however heartbreaking.
Love Sylvia x

 

[mel]

Hi Bel
Just want to send you love and a big hug
Love Wendy xx

 

[Skye]

i IS IT TOO LATE TO MAKE A NEW YEARS RESALUTION --i will try not to beat my self up so much i am doing the best i can like all of you are

Good for you bel. We're all here to help you keep your resolution.

Love

 

[bel]

bless your hearts i know you are all right

i am too close to see
whats going on GOD BLESS YOU ALL
LOVE BEL X