Telephones… and dementia

[22Graham]

I’m a new member here so I hope I’m following protocols correctly.

Can anyone recommend a telephone that automatically records incoming calls. My parents, who both suffer with dementia of some kind, can never recall conversations that have happened over the telephone. This has led to missed and changed hospital and doctors appointments and recently being scammed into providing card details to a third party. I refer here to a static home telephone rather than a mobile, I don’t think explaining a new mobile phone would be possible at this stage.

Would be grateful for any advise.

THANK YOU.

 

[MartinWL]

I have the t-shirt on this one but I am afraid I don't know of a technical solution. There are issues regarding privacy for the caller, which is why you so often hear " this call is being recorded for training purposes" although the real reason is so they can refute complaints starting with: "I was told that.... ".

My dad came extremely close to being scammed out of a substantial amount of money on the phone. I have POA so was able to take actions including reducing his credit card limit to a smaller level, reducing the amount in his current account to what was needed ( savings accounts being a little bit less vulnerable) and not renewing his debit card. There is little point in explaining the danger as a PWD will forget warnings.

I have found that the medical establishment are amongst the worst for failure to understand dementia and doing silly things like giving him an appointment by telephone. Even the district nurse told him verbally when she would next visit resulting in a lot of angst and confusion. I have as far as possible instructed his GP surgery to call me and I always put my mobile phone number on any forms not his landline. Also I have blocked calls from unknown numbers to limit scam calls. There are scam protection systems with which others will have more experience.

So my strategy has been to try as far as possible to get all appointments made through me or by letter.

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @22Graham and welcome to Dementia Talking Point. Professionals assuming that someone with dementia will remember something they are told over the phone is all too common. I'm not sure about recording all calls, I'm sure someone will be along shortly to explain if they have managed to do that. This site might have some useful ideas. I did the quiz and it gave suggestions as to what would help my mother. By the time I did the quiz she was already in care, but the ideas seemed sound and I would have tried some of them if she had still been at home.
First of all take the three numbers off the backs of any credit/debit cards. They'll still be able to use them, but won't be able to be scammed. Do you have Lasting Power of Attorney? If not now is the time to try and get it sorted. Then you can tell your parents' banks etc. They can still continue to use their cards but at least you'd have some oversight.
I'd also see if you can get the mail re-directed to your place. That way you should be able to pick up any appointment letters. Having POA would also mean that their GP should talk to you and keep you informed.
Do have a look round the site. This is a very friendly and supportive place and you'll get lots of suggestions and advice that I hope you will find helpful.

Edited to add the link to https://meetadam.co.uk/ that I mentioned.

 

[Shedrech]

Hello @22Graham
A warm welcome from me too
I wonder whether there's a system to reroute calls to your phone, or a phone specifically for this, so you could answer or let a call go to voicemail ... not sure if some numbers could be left to go through to your parents, eg family numbers, so they can take some calls

 

[nitram]

Hello @22Graham
I wonder whether there's a system to reroute calls to your phone,

Assume BT, may work with other providers using Openreach

To divert all calls dial: *21*(phone number you want to divert to)#
To divert any calls you don't manage to answer within 15 seconds dial: *61*(phone number you want to divert to)#
To divert calls when your phone is engaged dial: *67*(phone number you want to divert to)#

All about Call Diversion | BT Help

Learn all about call diversion from BT. This service lets you divert calls to almost any phone, including your mobile. Find out more today.

www.bt.com

Check cost of enabling feature and diverted calls cost/minute, could be very expensive.
@22Graham

 

[MartinWL]

Diverting calls is useful if the PWD can not use the phone at all. But usually you want social calls to continue.

 

[canary]

I have a BT call blocker phone.
Its default setting is to screen all incoming calls to allow you to choose which ones to accept (too complicated for people with dementia), but these settings can be altered.
You can allow people in the contacts list to come straight through as per normal and can block everyone else. When someone calls who is blocked they hear a message that you can personalise (like you would the answer phone message), so you could personalise the message asking them to phone you.
This may be a way of allowing them social calls, but being able to monitor others
Other phones might do this too.

 

[Eogz]

There are answering services, though this may not be wholly useful, often a small business, can employ an answering service.
I wonder if that would work in your situation and whether this would be suitable for personal use.
The other option would be to make sure you have the GP App or NHS App for your parent's and you can at least keep track of the medical appointments, which are usually recorded on them.

 

[by_the_sea]

Hi,
My MIL has a Truecall device plugged into her phone. It has a variety of levels of restricting phonecalls in and out. We have found it invaluable. We can see a log of all calls and while they are not recorded we at least know who has phoned and who she has phoned. All phone numbers not authorised to go through hear a recorded message to phone me instead. My MIL has the potential to be a nuisance caller so we have the ability to block her outgoing calls to specific numbers too. (Her hairdresser really doesn't deserve to receive calls at 7pm on New Year's Day!)

 

[GROCKLE]

Dealing with Phone Scammers​

Maybe check out my forum diiscussion on protecting-against-phone-scammers
I found the only solution which was manageable for me was the implementation of a permanent Do Not Disturb with only registered VIP calls allowed. I have been using this method successfully since January 2021.

 

[tyzack]

My husband mobile phone can only receive calls not make calls. We just pay £20 per year. Only family ring him.

 

[GROCKLE]

Actually, the big danger is being able to receive calls, not being able to make them !
And your home phone? Which I presume he also has access to?
Being called is the problem.

I just hope his phone doesn't get registered somehow and he gets on a spammers list.
My mobile phone is not registered anywhere but I still sometimes, rarely get calls from call centres not actually knowing my name, I always ask hello and who do they want to talk to. Then block them immediately.