Hi Everyone, I've been off this forum for a while, no particular reason other than trying to cope with the pandemic and the like but I got a call today and wanted to canvass opinion really. A year ago pretty much to the day I became suddenly aware that Mum (Now 75) was suffering from severe short term memory loss and masive changes in personality. A long story and obviously not uncommon or unique followed but we managed somehow to quickly arrange dr visits and started at the memory clinic getting the initial assessment in as lockdown 1 took place. Clearly the pandemic delayed follow up stuff and apart from a sort of welfare call there hasnt been anything other than a sort of plan to arrange a brain scan once lockdown finished - there were issues but the scan would help to confirm exactly what we were looking at. This was arranged and was met with steadfast refusal as it has come "out of the blue" and the connection between what has been discussed has long been forgotten, any issues are put down to the lockdown rather than anything else and in respect of memory of any events of the past 12 months are gone and others that do come into conversation are somewhat skewed from reality. Anyhow the call today was the memory clinic wanting to make a diagnosis call in around a weeks time, i had already got it on my mind to plan for vaccinations etc but was not expecting this because I thought we were at an empasse stage needing the scan and i had kind of come to terms with this in that at present Mum is "OK" in that shes not agitated or stressed and I actiually think its a legitimate concern that shes got of having to go into a hospital at this point in time so was willing to wait it out. Anyway, now we can get a formal diagnosis I think its useful even if its just so she can be offered support and treatment but I am not sure it will be of benefit or retained information to her.
So my question is (After my lengthy preamble) should I get the diagnosis myself for information or should I make my mum take the call herself with me lurking (Which I don't think she would permit)? She has had a few scam type calls recently and essentially with what happened with the scan letter and no memory of the past 12 months, I genuinely think that she wouldn't accept the diagnosis nor would she remember it so my dilemma is whether to force the issue to get her to attend the call in the first place which I know would also upset her or whether to effectively shield her from the news which she will not remember anyway and if she could remember would not accept? Genuinely not sure what the best approach would be but would welcome input.
So my question is (After my lengthy preamble) should I get the diagnosis myself for information or should I make my mum take the call herself with me lurking (Which I don't think she would permit)? She has had a few scam type calls recently and essentially with what happened with the scan letter and no memory of the past 12 months, I genuinely think that she wouldn't accept the diagnosis nor would she remember it so my dilemma is whether to force the issue to get her to attend the call in the first place which I know would also upset her or whether to effectively shield her from the news which she will not remember anyway and if she could remember would not accept? Genuinely not sure what the best approach would be but would welcome input.