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Talking to mum about dad.

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
I have been chatting to mum about dad and his declining mobility.I use her as well as my daughter as a sound board.
As you know dads mobility has decreased over the last few weeks. I know lockdown hasn’t helped . But the main thing is his apathy. He is already on antidepressants as he threatened suicide a while back.
Yesterday I took him into the garden but he wanted to come back in after an hour.
Dads legs are buckling at the knees now . He appears to be getting weaker by the day.He is hydrated as he is drinking a lot whilst with me.
His catheter output overnight the following morning was only 750 mls according to the girls.

Ages ago when dad came out of hospital they gave him a stand aid but he sent it back. I’m beginning to wonder if I need to phone OT to get it back. The Sara Steady is ok when people can lift themselves up but not so good when they are struggling.
Mum was saying that at some stage he won’t get out of bed. I know this but his hospital bed needs to be moved into the dining room and all the stuff from there into his bedroom. If eventually he needs a hoist that will be the only way we can do it.His bedroom at the moment is too small.
I have already broached that with dad and was told in no uncertain terms “No”.
She told me to explain and say that is the only way he will remain at home.
His legs are beginning to swell at the ankles and he has put on a lot of weight in over 3weeks. He was heart stage 3 over 3years ago. It’s never easy.
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,306
Swelling legs, and heart problems, time to to back to his consultant.
Bed in dining room, not perfect, but it's that or care home, his choice.

Bod
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Swelling legs, and heart problems, time to to back to his consultant.
Bed in dining room, not perfect, but it's that or care home, his choice.

Bod
That’s true. With dad it is like banging your head against a brick wall. That’s his normal self before and with dementia.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
1,636
Yorkshire
Just read your last few posts @TNJJ sorry to read both your mum and dad are struggling more and that means more for you to worry about too. I think asking for stand aid thing back again is worth a try, even though your dad may well refuse to use it or moan about it, it might be worth a try if you explain it will help keep him at home, though sometimes nothing convinces them does it:( I'll keep my fingers crossed he does 🤞Sorry I don't have any useful advice but thought I'd send hugs x🤗 🤗
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Just read your last few posts @TNJJ sorry to read both your mum and dad are struggling more and that means more for you to worry about too. I think asking for stand aid thing back again is worth a try, even though your dad may well refuse to use it or moan about it, it might be worth a try if you explain it will help keep him at home, though sometimes nothing convinces them does it:( I'll keep my fingers crossed he does 🤞Sorry I don't have any useful advice but thought I'd send hugs x🤗 🤗
Thank you. I’m hoping so but dad is contrary the best of times.