Over the last twenty years or so, we have had regular Sunday lunches with my father in law. When he was less frail and forgetful there might be lunch at his flat - spaghetti and tomato sauce. (He wasn't much of a cook.) In more recent years it's always been lunch at our house. Every other Sunday. Very occasionally we've invited him on different days, because of other commitments. He's always been a bit suspicious Why not Sunday? And we've explained why not... His dementia diagnosis was six months ago. Our own domestic routines have changed and as my husband has retired there's a lot more flexibility on our side about when we can see him. As we are busy three Sundays in a row, we had invited him for lunch next Friday. (Apart from his carer and the other people in his sheltered the accommodation we are the only people he ever sees.) He refused to come to lunch on Friday, saying Sunday was the day he wanted to have lunch with us. If he couldn't come on Sunday, he didn't want to come at all. So should we leave it and not take him out and cook him a meal for the best part of a month, do you think? Or assume that in a week or so he'll have forgotten he said this?