Suggestion needed

[sushrut2k5]

Hi all,

My grandfather has been suffering from dementia and in the last few weeks, it has worsened. He is 85 years old. He has started hallucinating and grown slightly violent, causing my granny to stress out. He keeps saying that it is not his house and wants to take train to go back to his house. He has been staying in that house for past 22 years.

I want to bring him over to my home, which will cause a change of environment. From what I read on internet, usually its much better to keep people with dementia near their familiar things.

I want to know if it would be a good idea to bring him over, or would it be better to stay with him in the same house where he has stayed for so long.

Thanks for helping me out. Any suggestions/opinions are welcome.

 

[FifiMo]

Hiya Sushrut,

Welcome to TP. Can I firstly say that it is very common for this "going home" thing to happen with people who have dementia. If you look up sundowning it explains a bit more of what this about. As his memory regresses he then lives in a world that is in the past - hence the reason for him thinking he needs to go home. What he is really saying is that he wants things around him that were familiar to him when he was younger - he might say he wants his mum too for example. Unfortunately it is something that we can't deliver for them - even if you take hiim back to his childhood home he probably wouldn't recognise it as such.

About the violence, you have to tell his GP that this is happening. Whilst it is to do with the illness, that doesn't mean that he can't harm someone when he is having one of these episodes. If possible, I would make sure that your granny has somewhere safe to go to when she sees the violence starting up - maybe a spare bedroom - put a lock on the door for her and even better if you can put a phone in there so she can call for help. You really shouldn't take chances with this because someone could get seriously hurt.

As to taking him to yours, it will add to his confusion but only you can decide whether this is something you can deal with in order to give your granny some needed space. In the meantime, does your granny have any help at home? Maybe she needs to have a carers assessment done? Get some help with the little things even that take the pressure off her?

It is lovely that you are looking out for your grandparents, just don't get stressed out yourself because dementia can be a very time consuming and demeanding disease to have to deal with.

Fiona