stuck in the past no interest in the future

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by tuffydawn, Apr 6, 2015.

  1. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    123
    every conversation is about the past and him no interest in the here and now or the future no interest in how i am feeling, all about him where is the man i loved so much slipping away to ?
     
  2. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,118
    Female
    Scotland
    Tuffydawn, I feel for you, it is heart breaking. But sadly this is something very many of us experience. What you have written could have been me writing, and I would think many others.

    My husband was a deeply caring, loving and unselfish man before dementia started to change him, and he became the complete opposite of himself. It is extremely hard to deal with, and you feel so alone and isolated.

    It is the disease, not him, although at times it can be very difficult to believe. It was not until I joined TP after years of my husband’s dementia that I realised how common this is and that I was not the only one which I often felt I was. It does help to share experiences, write about what is happening in your own situation, knowing that others will understand.

    I have no words of wisdom to offer, and can only send you empathy and sympathy. I’m sure others will be along to write as well, and I hope being on TP does bring you some comfort.

    Loo x
     
  3. tuffydawn

    tuffydawn Registered User

    Mar 30, 2015
    123
    thank you for replying it does seem to help just to write the words down sometimes i know he loves me but when some one shows no interest in your feelings or health can not even ask how your hospital appt was but can say you were out too long it is tough not to feel angry i hate confrontation so keep quiet even when hurt may be that is wrong but too tired with it all to bother thank you once again
     
  4. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,908
    Female
    Scotland
    Tuff this is so common and so hurtful. I had two minor ops and husband picked me up from the hospital and didn't ask how I was, how it went, what in fact I was in for. This was all during the period before the diagnosis of AD but one of the many things that made me realise things were definitely not right!

    You need to just be nice to yourself because it isnt going to come from your husband I'm afraid.
     
  5. ginny56

    ginny56 Registered User

    Nov 24, 2014
    15
    My mum has vascular dementia. She talks about the past most of the time eg her dad, her childhood, my dad (passed away 30 years ago).
     
  6. Ab96

    Ab96 Registered User

    Apr 2, 2015
    12
    I'm so sorry Tuffydawn :(

    I know it's probably no constellation to you, but he may be talking about the past because that's what he remembers best - my grandad talks about the past because the present and future is confusing to him - he often doesn't remember what's happened in the passed days/weeks so he feels more comfortable taking about the years gone by that he can remember clearly.

    Xxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Frederic H

    Frederic H Registered User

    Apr 1, 2015
    75
    Devon
    What do you say ?

    My o/h came back from the local Mind yesterday in an awful temper.When she had calmed down 3 hours later I asked if any one had upset her.
    No one had but they were doing crosswords and she realised that despite help from others she really was out of it and had no idea .
    Is this what it is going to be like from now?
    I could not answer.
    I have looked at this website and realise there is much more and worse to come
     

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