Stubborn behaviour and procrastination

[Fotoliza]

My OH has Vascular Dementia and he has totally lost his "get round to it". If I ask him to do something he might say "yes", but carries on sitting in his chair. It is the willingness of the old self saying, "Yes", but the new self won't act. I ask him when he will do it and the answer might be "later..... after lunch", or whenever he chooses. He leaves the garage light on and turns it off in the kitchen instead of in the garage at source. I have to check on him, but cannot go in the garage myself because of my disability. It is a possible fire risk as the light melted an electric extention coil last year, so it is urgent that he does it.

He is also very willful and misses the point, cannot follow instructions properly. I have to check up on everything. I am exhausted and unhappy. This is only the beginning of this dreadful diagnosis. I am not sure I have the physical or mental strength to put up with this.
Sorry, but I needed to rant.

 

[Grannie G]

It`s ok @Fotoliza to rant but you do know your OH really can’t do anything about his confused behaviour don’t you.

If you have a disability which prevents you keeping a check on him then I hope you will be able to get some practical support to give you a break and a rest.

Have you had a carers assessment?

Carer's assessments - Social care and support guide

See if you can get support from your council, such as extra money or a break from caring.

www.nhs.uk

This will enable you to see how much help and support you qualify for.

 

[sapphire turner]

Hi Fotoliza
I know the feeling, in the early days you think everything is so weird and difficult that how will you cope when it gets worse?

Somehow we get used to the weirdness, the new reality, and get used to the changes. But then it changes again and we have to accept how it is.

In some ways I feel that the early stages were more upsetting because I had not really accepted losing who my husband was and had been. Now we are in the middle stages I am kinda getting used to how it is but wondering what the next phase will bring. It is a hell of a journey!
Wishing you luck and resilience ❤️

 

[Fotoliza]

It`s ok @Fotoliza to rant but you do know your OH really can’t do anything about his confused behaviour don’t you.

If you have a disability which prevents you keeping a check on him then I hope you will be able to get some practical support to give you a break and a rest.

Have you had a carers assessment?

Carer's assessments - Social care and support guide

See if you can get support from your council, such as extra money or a break from caring.

www.nhs.uk

This will enable you to see how much help and support you qualify for.

Thank you @Grannie G . I have had an assessment and am hoping for more support as time goes on.

 

[Fotoliza]

Hi Fotoliza
I know the feeling, in the early days you think everything is so weird and difficult that how will you cope when it gets worse?

Somehow we get used to the weirdness, the new reality, and get used to the changes. But then it changes again and we have to accept how it is.

In some ways I feel that the early stages were more upsetting because I had not really accepted losing who my husband was and had been. Now we are in the middle stages I am kinda getting used to how it is but wondering what the next phase will bring. It is a hell of a journey!
Wishing you luck and resilience ❤️

Thank you @sapphire turner , for your thoughful advice and empathy. It is indeed a hard trail to follow. Best wishes to you too.

 

[Kevinl]

Please all here to listen, rant when ready. K

 

[Fotoliza]

Please all here to listen, rant when ready. K