Struggling!

[Angel 4]

Hello, I just need a rant I guess… my husband has FAD I’m not sure what stage he’s at to be honest how do you know? I know that I am finding things hard, mainly his lack of empathy and consideration. I still work 3 days a week and do most of the chores etc in the house (we have 3 teens) also our youngest isn’t well & is struggling with her illness and school. I am really feeling the strain of coping with everything…. While all he seems to do is watch tv and scroll through his phone! I know he isn’t the same person but when we’re at hospital appointments or with family members he seems different and much more considerate etc. I’m feeling taken for granted but if I ask him to help out which he is still capable of it ends in a row. He gets defensive and tells me he does do things around the house.. everything is a battle 😫
Thanks for reading xx

 

[Grannie G]

I know he isn’t the same person but when we’re at hospital appointments or with family members he seems different and much more considerate etc.

This is called host/showtime mode and is common in people with dementia and I suspect familiar to the majority of people on this forum.

There is little understanding why or how it happens but it does.

It must be really difficult with school age children at home.

Have you asked for any help? Have you had a carers assessment?

I know watching TV and scrolling through his phone is not help for you but it`s probably all he can manage.

If you could get someone to come in to do some housework while you are at work and sit with your husband at the same time, it might take some of the load from you.

A Social Services assessment might help provide this for you.