It’s now over 40 weeks since the GP referred my Mum to memory clinic. She originally scored 1/10 and the GP requested expediation after her hospital stay/delirium at Christmas. Tbh I know she has dementia - she has deteriorated so much it’s not even a question. She is now in a care home permanently because it’s so bad. I’m so frustrated by the process - GP says it’s still worthwhile pursing as she will have an official diagnosis which may help with funding later on - thoughts? The idea of drugs to minimise decline seems to have flown. She is 90. When I contacted the memory clinic, they just say they are working their way down the long list!
Still waiting …
- Thread starter StressedDaughter
- Start date
Hi @StressedDaughter I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a wait for a memory clinic appointment, 40 weeks seems such a long time so it's no wonder you are frustrated by it all 
Depending on the diagnosis medication can help to reduce symptoms in some types of dementia, so may be of help to your mum, but I can understand why you're thinking about whether it is worthwhile or not. It's a difficult one, and I'd probably hang in there for little while longer, particularly having waited so long already, but it's a tough one to call. Hopefully others will be along with their thoughts too.
Depending on the diagnosis medication can help to reduce symptoms in some types of dementia, so may be of help to your mum, but I can understand why you're thinking about whether it is worthwhile or not. It's a difficult one, and I'd probably hang in there for little while longer, particularly having waited so long already, but it's a tough one to call. Hopefully others will be along with their thoughts too.I'm not sure I understand the GPS line of thinking. Could you press the GP for an official diagnosis as given the evidence its not clear why your mum would benefit going to memory clinic for one? My father got a diagnosis by the GP talking to a consultant as it was clear to everyone what was going on.
Thanks. Spoke to the GP again today - they will not diagnose. They are however following up with the memory clinic where her appointment is!
Hi stresseddaughter- I am also a stressed daughter and I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been waiting so long for the memory clinic appt. I’ve only just managed to get the GP to put a referral in as Mum kept being hospitalised (with suspected infections) and missing the appts to have the relevant bloods. I finally got the hospital to do the right bloods but am not holding out much hope for a quick turn around as have been told it’s at least 3-4 month wait for the memory clinic here. My Mum has also had delirium during her current admission. I haven’t got any specific ideas or advice but I just wanted to say that I really empathise with how hard this is- it’s so frustrating when you feel convinced that you know what’s going on but you don’t have the official diagnosis
I still think it makes sense to pursue it as if nothing else you will feel reassured that you were ‘right’ about what’s going on (at times I’ve felt like I’m gaslighting myself or imagining things!) In my case the lack of diagnosis led to hospital staff just taking Mum’s word on stuff and not realising how far away she was from her baseline when she was admitted (she was previously moving round the house with a frame but is now unable to get out of bed). I’m also really sorry to reply to you with a question but at what point did you decide to look at care homes? Mum lives alone and although I live very close by I work 4 days a week (in a different city) and have two relatively young kids so she’d have to manage with carers going in to the home.
This is all so hard but please remember there are people out there who understand xx
It's very frustrating to have to wait so long. Is it worth contacting the memory clinic again having a frank discussion with them to see what they think to putting your mum through the process or if there is an alternative way to diagnose ?
Hello @Wyn79 and firstly welcome to this friendly and supportive forum. I am sorry to read about your Mum and all the health issues you are having, You have certainly had a tough time of it.Hi stresseddaughter- I am also a stressed daughter and I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been waiting so long for the memory clinic appt. I’ve only just managed to get the GP to put a referral in as Mum kept being hospitalised (with suspected infections) and missing the appts to have the relevant bloods. I finally got the hospital to do the right bloods but am not holding out much hope for a quick turn around as have been told it’s at least 3-4 month wait for the memory clinic here. My Mum has also had delirium during her current admission. I haven’t got any specific ideas or advice but I just wanted to say that I really empathise with how hard this is- it’s so frustrating when you feel convinced that you know what’s going on but you don’t have the official diagnosis
In my case the lack of diagnosis led to hospital staff just taking Mum’s word on stuff and not realising how far away she was from her baseline when she was admitted (she was previously moving round the house with a frame but is now unable to get out of bed). I’m also really sorry to reply to you with a question but at what point did you decide to look at care homes? Mum lives alone and although I live very close by I work 4 days a week (in a different city) and have two relatively young kids so she’d have to manage with carers going in to the home.
This is all so hard but please remember there are people out there who understand xx
I just wanted to say that if you are satisfied that carers going into the home is adequate for keeping your Mum safe and well cared for, then that is good. When the time comes, residential care is not, I repeat, not a failure on you being able to provide care, it is simply that your Mum's care needs are such that she requires residential care 24/7 in order to keep her safe. The following link may help with information:
Care homes: When is the right time and who decides?
Advice and practical tips for carers on when is the right time for a person to be moved to a care home.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
I hope this is helpful, but if you like to start a new thread in the following section, with any more questions, or a bit more about your particular situation, then members will be more able to readily respond.
Memory concerns and seeking a diagnosis
This forum is for people who have concerns about their memory or someone else’s.
forum.alzheimers.org.uk
Thanks for your kind words and reassurance Gosling. I will have a read of the article and will start a new thread when I get the chance.
@StressedDaughter - please do let us know what the memory clinic say- I hope you get some answers soon x
@StressedDaughter sorry I should have said let us know what the GP says- I hope you get some clarity on how long the wait might be x
No worries - GP chasing again. Read your other posts - Mum went from hospital to a care home for respite. She then admitted she was struggling at home and lonely so the move to permanent resident was relatively smooth. Having looked around several care homes a couple of years ago for my Uncle (only relative), it was relatively easy to get a feel for the place I chose for her. I do still question if I have done the right thing especially now I am starting to empty/pack up house following its sale to fund the care but I know she is happier there. It has taken a few months and she is still confused with the simple layout of the home but she is getting comfortable with the lovely staff.
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