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Staying home

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
419
Well I love all those inspirational messages about what to do when you're stuck at home - how I would love to be able to sort the garage, sort the cupboards and drawers. Unfortunately I have another person at home with me who demands attention all the time and will not allow any kind of sorting as what I take out would be put back in and he'll get bored and be off getting into mischief or muttering, complaining and swearing because I'm not giving him attention. Have to go now because he hates it when I'm on the laptop and is wandering around muttering and swearing, better get him a coffee, that will keep him quiet for 5 mins!!
 

Janie M

Registered User
Jun 12, 2018
69
@White Rose how I so relate to that! I'm just going to make ANOTHER coffe now. The trouble is all OH does is watch the telly, keeps repeating what gets said, and then forgets straight away, so can't understand why the sons don't come round or why he shouldn't go wandering around. Can't even go to the garden centre for anything (and a coffe!) Maybe, just maybe, people who don't have to deal with dementia will have an understanding of our "normal" lives!!
Keep smiling and take care, stay safe.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,656
South coast
Yes, I have had people say to me "well your at home all day, you could get plenty of things done" Ha! If only!
Im on here reading and posting in between getting OH up, sorting out his catheter, getting his breakfast, making coffee etc. He is sitting on the sofa sighing ATM and soon I will have to go and shower him and and help him get dressed (no carer today). It takes me all morning just to get this sorted.
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
169
Glad to hear I’m not alone. My friends tell me how they are ‘blitzing’ rooms, cleaning out cupboards, etc etc. I just about manage to scramble to do the ironing while my husband has a sleep in the chair following his dose of Risperidone. I try to put the recordings of the snooker on the TV because sometimes he falls asleep while it’s on. In the evening, the same thing happens, I put snooker or football recordings on for him, he falls asleep, I quietly change the programme for something I like, and he promptly wakes up!!!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
419
Life really not so different for those caring for a PWD, we carry on as normal pre-Covid19. At least it's sunny weather for a change. Re. falling asleep @Vitesse, I try to restrict naps during the day so that he'll sleep better at night, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. He fell asleep in the sun after lunch today and I left him there (with a hat on) just because it was so nice to have 5 mins to myself!
 

Angtrog

New member
Mar 25, 2020
4
Pleased to hear I am not alone in all of this ,my husband just watches the telly most of the day demanding tea and biscuits and in between falls asleep
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,366
Well I love all those inspirational messages about what to do when you're stuck at home - how I would love to be able to sort the garage, sort the cupboards and drawers. Unfortunately I have another person at home with me who demands attention all the time and will not allow any kind of sorting as what I take out would be put back in and he'll get bored and be off getting into mischief or muttering, complaining and swearing because I'm not giving him attention. Have to go now because he hates it when I'm on the laptop and is wandering around muttering and swearing, better get him a coffee, that will keep him quiet for 5 mins!!
Oh yes! For four years I did not even sit down in the bath because OH would follow me in demanding to know if I was finished! And never went to the loo without him knocking on the door...kindred.x
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
169
Life really not so different for those caring for a PWD, we carry on as normal pre-Covid19. At least it's sunny weather for a change. Re. falling asleep @Vitesse, I try to restrict naps during the day so that he'll sleep better at night, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. He fell asleep in the sun after lunch today and I left him there (with a hat on) just because it was so nice to have 5 mins to myself!
A couple of years ago, I used to worry if he fell asleep during the day, and I was reading about the side effects of Risperidone. Now, he sleeps quite well during the night, and honestly, I look forward to him sleeping during the day, so that I can get on with jobs, or just have a minute to myself. His AD is fairly severe, and we have no conversations , but he is constantly fretting about not having money. There is no way of placating him, so Risperidone is the only thing in my arsenal. The doctor tells me I can go to max 4 doses a day, it I try to stick to 3.
 

deepetshopboy

Registered User
Jul 7, 2008
249
Well I love all those inspirational messages about what to do when you're stuck at home - how I would love to be able to sort the garage, sort the cupboards and drawers. Unfortunately I have another person at home with me who demands attention all the time and will not allow any kind of sorting as what I take out would be put back in and he'll get bored and be off getting into mischief or muttering, complaining and swearing because I'm not giving him attention. Have to go now because he hates it when I'm on the laptop and is wandering around muttering and swearing, better get him a coffee, that will keep him quiet for 5 mins!!
Same had a load of books to read but struggling to read a newspaper.must be heaven being able to have free time without a person demanding attention all the time and having to entertain them
 

deepetshopboy

Registered User
Jul 7, 2008
249
Life really not so different for those caring for a PWD, we carry on as normal pre-Covid19. At least it's sunny weather for a change. Re. falling asleep @Vitesse, I try to restrict naps during the day so that he'll sleep better at night, but I don't know if that's the right thing to do. He fell asleep in the sun after lunch today and I left him there (with a hat on) just because it was so nice to have 5 mins to myself!
In a strange way pwd full time carers are already in self isolation social distancing we never went to the cinema , strolls , restaurant hairdresser well not in my case for a yr when i get carers im running off to do food shopping
 

AbbyGee

Registered User
Nov 26, 2018
40
Portsmouth, South Coast
I would so dearly love to do all those not-so-little jobs I've been promising myself I will do when I have time. But alas, my little shadow follows me about asking if he can help (NOOOOOO!) and then trying to put away all the stuff I've set aside for re-homing or dumping.

My usual method of defusing the potential inner mental explosion is to find some urgent need to pop across the road for half an hour to see my buddy who, by happy chance, happens to run a pub. Well, that's been vetoed, hasn't it!

The time has arrived for me to become more inventive in finding 'helpful' things he can do without constant attention so I can get down to the job in hand or simply have a quiet half-hour alone to think, breathe and generally get my chill-factor down to a manageable level. Aaaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh ..........
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
704
Basingstoke, Hampshire
But alas, my little shadow follows me about asking if he can help (NOOOOOO!) and then trying to put away all the stuff I've set aside for re-homing or dumping.
I've got a little helper like that, only mine doesn't so much follow me about but 'helps' when I'm not looking. That's when I find items on the draining board that haven't been washed. Items in the recycle bag that should be in the waste bin.
Often I find the washing that I have sorted ready to be put in the washing machine, put back into his drawer, or neatly put in piles ready to be put away.
I think my husband truly wants to help, but if I actually give him a job to do he just leaves it. I think he wants to find the jobs to do himself.
 

PalSal

Registered User
Dec 4, 2011
804
Pratteln Switzerland
I love all these shares.....no I am definitely not getting anything done.
Maybe I will be inspired but the moment....it is just the usual chores and keeping up on those.
I must say. We both slept well last night in our freshly ironed linens in the bed. It smelled wonderful and I love the first night after changing the bedding.
But no big accomplishments here just the usual day to day stuff.
Off to bake some blueberry muffins for elevens
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
419
:confused:I find myself say 'Mary had a little lamb....' quite often these days. So nice to know I'm not alone in this and we can all have a bit of a rant. I don't have long as I can hear him ferreting away in the hall, you have to be vigilant all the time. He's putting his gloves on so I'd better go or he'll be off down the road .......
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,120
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Just reading this thread as my OH is lying on the couch watching an old episode of, “Where the heat is,” after spending about 10minutes saying she might as well be dead and life is horrible. I have had to stop my daily walks as if I am not here she uses the stairs to get to the toilet rather than using the downstairs commode which she hates. Problem is that her bed is downstairs so as to minimise falls risks as she has had several. So frustrating not being able to get someone to sit with her.
 

Sanitary Sue

New member
Mar 27, 2020
3
Live with my elderly parents and 2 children. Used to live in my flat but a schizophrenic neighbour moved in and made my life Hell including making death threats so had to move in with parents.
My mum 83 has become increasingly controlling. Started years ago when wouldn't let anyone else wash up or cook. Would get into a terrible rage telling me I'm a hopeless idiot in front of my kids. Became increasingly vitriolic but would be calm and lovely when we had friends over. Would come to my flat and clean there. She goes through family's drawers and breaks things or throws things out. She has always been tough but now is convinced that she would survive the coronavirus because she walks everywhere and eats healthily. Doesnt wash her hands properly just finger tips. Hygiene rating 0. Sometimes she just says well if I die, I die. The thing is that my father has had pneumonia several times in past 2 years and is in high risk category. It's like she wants to bring him with her to her death. Just now she got a workman to come over for a minor repair job fixing shed. This could really wait until (if ) coronavirus is over. He came through a side gate not through the house and had a face mask on but she stood really close to him because couldn't hear him and then got him to take down face mask because she still couldn't hear him. Aaaaargh! If we tell her he shouldn't come again she is likely to rebel and spend even more time outside or smash my phone or other important things. I need advice as to how to retain my sanity.
 

HilsK

New member
Jan 24, 2020
7
Oh how these shares lift me .. So comforting to hear that others feel exhausted too. Its the first time I have been on here and you have all made me smile. :D

After being very seriously ill 8 weeks ago with pneumonia in intensive care, I find myself looking after my hubby who has quite severe dementia with increasing mobilty issues alone ... now all help and support has stopped, It feels truly awful. I have tried to engage him in doing things but he always drifts back to sitting in front of the TV watching the CV stream.

I myself have been on strict isolation now for three weeks which means he is too. I cannot get shopping easily and he eats so much as he has no natural appetite suppressant. When he falls asleep I feel I should pounce on the ironing or 1001 other jobs ... but I too fall asleep from exhaustion ..... and oh he won't wash his hands ....

And we have another 12 weeks .. possibly longer of this ... ??
 

RQuino

New member
Mar 27, 2020
1
Pleased to hear I am not alone in all of this ,my husband just watches the telly most of the day demanding tea and biscuits and in between falls asleep
What a relief to know that there are so many others who are going through the same days that I am having. It is soooo lonely which sounds ridiculous when you live with others.
My mum’s dementia has become so full on over the last year I feel so lost most days. So many requests to ‘help’ and a constant need to be near me is...
I’m a teacher - part time now- so now being home all the time is even more confusing for mum. She’s convinced I’m packing up and leaving her...It’s so exhausting
Not much sleep either that’s the latest, up at 2.3,4 and then finally at 5......I give up
Everyday is so unpredictable and no one seems to get it
Thank goodness for you guys and the comfort of your words
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,955
Merseyside
What a relief to know that there are so many others who are going through the same days that I am having. It is soooo lonely which sounds ridiculous when you live with others.
My mum’s dementia has become so full on over the last year I feel so lost most days. So many requests to ‘help’ and a constant need to be near me is...
I’m a teacher - part time now- so now being home all the time is even more confusing for mum. She’s convinced I’m packing up and leaving her...It’s so exhausting
Not much sleep either that’s the latest, up at 2.3,4 and then finally at 5......I give up
Everyday is so unpredictable and no one seems to get it
Thank goodness for you guys and the comfort of your words
Welcome to DTP @RQuino
I‘m glad you’re finding the forum to be a comfort. Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

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