Hello all,
I have posted before; I was in the situation that my Dad has vascular dementia and my Mum was terminally ill with cancer and was Dad's carer. Mum was responding well to treatment but unfortunately she died suddenly and unexpectedly with a pulmonary embolism two days into my holiday in Spain on 02 June. Dad is having an urgent social services care assessment, his social worker has instructed the Reablement Team to go in three times a day and assess his independence. Of course, he is not independent and they have already told me there will be a care package in place at the end of it. They didn't really listen to me in the beginning when I told them where the risk areas were, but I suppose they had to judge for themselves. They have also told me they have limited funds even though he qualifies for full assistance (Gloucestershire need to save £75million on the care budget) so I am not sure what they will offer. As a temporary measure, they have agreed to make three days worth of daycare funding available to help him for a period of four weeks only (he had previously attended the Daycare Centre once a week for over a year and they want to revert to that after the assessment). The Day Centre is the only thing that seems to lift his spirits a little so I am worried if they reduce the frequency to one day a week.
The main thing that is worrying me is that, after the initial shock that seemed to galvanise him into being more talkative and proactive, Dad, he is now very down. Quite understandably!
He doesn't want to eat, he is reluctant to attend the Daycare Centre (although the staff there are good in getting him to go) and he has started smoking again after stopping for 8 years. He set the waste paper basket on fire on Saturday and burned a hole in his trousers also, I am so worried I can't sleep thinking about it! I have tried talking to him about Mum but he won't say anything and he tells me he is fine. He wouldn't be involved in the funeral arrangements or anything about Mum's affairs and wouldn't discuss it. I have had to do this by myself.
Yesterday he only had a pot noodle for lunch and nothing else. The Reablement Team and Day Centre Manager are monitoring him, particularly the smoking, eating and medications, but I am still concerned. What happens if I think the care package Social Services offer is inadequate? I am so upset about Mum and so worried about Dad that I am struggling to cope. We always knew that there would come a time when we would be faced with Mum passing away, but she was doing well and it is such a shock for both of us.
I don't know what to do as I am in uncharted territory. Any advice would be most welcome.
Jayne
I have posted before; I was in the situation that my Dad has vascular dementia and my Mum was terminally ill with cancer and was Dad's carer. Mum was responding well to treatment but unfortunately she died suddenly and unexpectedly with a pulmonary embolism two days into my holiday in Spain on 02 June. Dad is having an urgent social services care assessment, his social worker has instructed the Reablement Team to go in three times a day and assess his independence. Of course, he is not independent and they have already told me there will be a care package in place at the end of it. They didn't really listen to me in the beginning when I told them where the risk areas were, but I suppose they had to judge for themselves. They have also told me they have limited funds even though he qualifies for full assistance (Gloucestershire need to save £75million on the care budget) so I am not sure what they will offer. As a temporary measure, they have agreed to make three days worth of daycare funding available to help him for a period of four weeks only (he had previously attended the Daycare Centre once a week for over a year and they want to revert to that after the assessment). The Day Centre is the only thing that seems to lift his spirits a little so I am worried if they reduce the frequency to one day a week.
The main thing that is worrying me is that, after the initial shock that seemed to galvanise him into being more talkative and proactive, Dad, he is now very down. Quite understandably!
He doesn't want to eat, he is reluctant to attend the Daycare Centre (although the staff there are good in getting him to go) and he has started smoking again after stopping for 8 years. He set the waste paper basket on fire on Saturday and burned a hole in his trousers also, I am so worried I can't sleep thinking about it! I have tried talking to him about Mum but he won't say anything and he tells me he is fine. He wouldn't be involved in the funeral arrangements or anything about Mum's affairs and wouldn't discuss it. I have had to do this by myself.
Yesterday he only had a pot noodle for lunch and nothing else. The Reablement Team and Day Centre Manager are monitoring him, particularly the smoking, eating and medications, but I am still concerned. What happens if I think the care package Social Services offer is inadequate? I am so upset about Mum and so worried about Dad that I am struggling to cope. We always knew that there would come a time when we would be faced with Mum passing away, but she was doing well and it is such a shock for both of us.
I don't know what to do as I am in uncharted territory. Any advice would be most welcome.
Jayne