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Social Services

worriedson77

Registered User
Jan 29, 2020
44
Hi there, I have a few questions about social services and their involvement as had a weird experience that could do with understanding a bit more about.

Without repeating other posts too much my pwd is my mum, I am only child and next of kin, have Lpa in progress (3 weeks of 4 week period to go). Mum has had such a decline for past month and triggered concerns due to out of character behaviour and poor short term memory coupled with accusatory and hostile towards me whenever she perceives anything to be out of order so am flitting between normal loving relationship with severe memory issues to me trying to steal her home, her money, get her sectioned or working with everyone to make out that she is mad when she is perfectly fine. All of this is accompanied by threats of police and social worker reporting which is obviously fine but the reality of the situation is that I have got her to the drs twice, referred to a memory clinic and also when the behaviour was particularly bad at the start (And I feared a uti or worse) I got 111 to place a concern marker as she wasnt wanting to have anything to do with me.

Anyway apologies for the long preamble but it appears that today someone has been round from social services I think, mum couldn't recall who but her neighbour who has been keeping a close eye on things said that they recognised a number mum had on a piece of paper with notes like "Will" and things like that on as social services. Mum also said to the neighbour that the lady who visited said she was fine and in great health for her age (She is very much in denial) so my lengthy background is really to see if anyone had experience of the social services visiting without notifying next of kin or even the neighbour, if so would they discuss stuff like wills and the like and also just accept mums word for it that she is fine? The Dr would definitely not back this up and they would surely need to know other information in respect of what has been occurring and the care I have put into place as well as waiting for the formal diagnosis from the memory clinic so surprised if they have just been round and obviously concerned that mum is letting potentially unscrupulous people into her home and maybe paying for things like a will to be put into place when she already has one.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,630
South coast
Im so sorry @worriedson77
I had a similar experience with SS when mum was living at home and she had obvious dementia symptoms. Her GP referred her to SS and some one from SS phoned her up and asked her how she was coping and whether she needed any help? Well, surprise, surprise, she was absolutely fine, was doing everything herself and didnt need any help at all o_O:rolleyes:. One look at her and her home would have told you otherwise, but because mum had told them this they accepted it at face value and crossed her off their books!
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
995
I had the same experience with my mum. I think there were a few occasions when they contacted mum after she’d phoned the police in a muddle over something (stolen false teeth springs to mind). Mum was very vague about things, such as who had called her up, but after hearing a recording of her on her answering phone telling SS she was fine, I called to ask if they’d let me know next time they contacted her. The response from SS was, that as she hadn’t yet been diagnosed with dementia, they were respecting client confidentiality.
Shortly after mum had a meltdown in the doctor’s surgery and they arranged a consultant psychiatrist to call round and see her. He had no problem putting my brother on speaker phone and explaining his diagnosis. That diagnosis was what I based getting mum into a care home on.
I’d phone up and talk to SS about your concerns and follow it up with an email. Then they will at least be aware of your opinions.
 

worriedson77

Registered User
Jan 29, 2020
44
Thanks @canary and @Sarasa it's a comfort to hear that they do that, I also appreciate the client confidentiality bit to be fair but as you point out they are asking someone questions that also doesnt remember seeing the dr a few days before or if they do that they have given her a clean bill of health and nothing is wrong!
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
572
Hi @worriedson77, I think you mentioned that you didn't have power of attorney which does make things tricky. You could always ring Social Services up and make some enquiries, the worst that can happen is that they won't discuss Mum with you. Failing that speak to the GP, again though unless Mum has given them permission to speak with you they may not disclose any information. If Social Services have visited it is likely that they will follow up the visit with a letter, so it is worth looking out for that. I think the 'best' example I had was when I phoned up to find out about the physio coming to see Mum after a discharge from hospital (she had mobility issues after falling), they gave me the number of the physio (as I had asked to be present on their visit) and she then informed me she had been to see Mum three times and given her exercises to do - she had no idea that Mum had dementia! So three wasted visits as Mum had absolutely no recollection of any physio! That's what we are dealing with I'm afraid.
 

Mydarlingdaughter

Registered User
Oct 25, 2019
83
North East England UK
If the GP referred Mum to social services and believes your Mum has Capacity, They might be trying to do a financial assessment, in which case the Will would be something they miight be wanting to see. However the best thing would be for you to phone social services and ask.
If they believe your Mum has capacity they wont necessarily involve family, and legallly not obliged to.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,630
South coast
They might be trying to do a financial assessment, in which case the Will would be something they miight be wanting to see.
Social Services dont need to see a will for a financial assessment - they never even asked about one when OH had his assessment. Wills only come into force after someone has passed away, so Im not sure why they would want to know about it.
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,066
Nottinghamshire
I’d be suspicious of anyone asking to see your mum’s will. Maybe phone SS. They should at least be able to tell you if someone has been to visit your mum. I’d be insistent on an answer and explain that you’re concerned about who might have been visiting your mum. I’d consider this a “safeguarding” concern if there is a possibility that your mum has had an unscrupulous visitor.
 

Penelope Pitstop

New member
Feb 17, 2020
7
As above ring SS and ask rather than guessing what has or hasn't been said. They will listen to your concerns even if they deem your mum still has capacity. In my experience they are more than willing to let family be involved. The word will might just be your mums ramblings. If she thinks you are trying to take her house then she might be thinking about her will on that day, then forgotten the next.
 

worriedson77

Registered User
Jan 29, 2020
44
Thanks for the pointers everyone, just to say that SS said that they couldn't discuss the case with me directly but said that it's often the case that they refer to care company who can help with matters such as financial management or wills if clients express an interest in this area, so reading between the lines it was this really although they couldn't specifically say it was, gave them an update on stuff like waiting for memory clinic and Lpa and they said once these are back happy to discuss with me more specifically but were quite helpful so thanks for the pointers :)
 

imthedaughter

Registered User
Apr 3, 2019
199
Social services got involved with my dad with no contact with me. No will discussed as far as I know, but then again dad was renting 'assisted living' by then so didn't have a lot of assets.
 

Sirena

Registered User
Feb 27, 2018
2,137
Re your question as to whether SW would take the PWD's word for it that they were fine and needed no help - yes they would. My mother's GP referred my mother to SS in the early(ish) days and a SW visited. My mother said she was absolutely fine and the SW took her at her word.

However SS rang me before they made the appointment, even though I lived a distance away from my mother and would not be attending. They then rang me afterwards, and told me what had transpired. I do have POA, but only financial, not H&W. No mention was ever made of Wills. The SW asked me about my mother's finances, to establish whether she would be self funding. I too am NOK and only close relative.

I doubt they would ever discuss it with a neighbour. I don't know to what extent you trust the neighbour, but bear in mind they may have their own agenda.