Social care assessment process

[sheepfield]

I'm going to meet my relative and a social worker tomorrow to discuss a social care assessment. Well, they arranged a time with my relative via the sensory needs person as my relative has dual sensory loss. It's in the morning, not good for me as I have health issues myself and disturbed nights sometimes. But I didn't get a say in the timing!
It also seems that a full assessment is unlikely as my relative has more in savings than the threshold for which people must pay for their own care.
But I think that they would be more accepting of change if a professional suggested it rather than me or their son. We've tried before to suggest a cleaner, pill organiser etc but these were all declined. My relative seems to think that the only option is going into a care home away from friends at the sheltered accommodation where they live.
Their son is autistic and I'm possibly autistic, adding to the challenges of having these delicate conversations with loved ones and convincing social services that we need help with it all.
Please wish me luck for tomorrow! I'd usually be at a carers lunch but I'm having to forgo that too for this appointment.

 

[Kristo]

Good luck, we have a similar assessment next week for Dad, I don’t know what to expect - keep us updated! X

 

[sheepfield]

Thank you, good luck with yours too. The sensory person has been helpful with my mother in law so hopefully the social care people will suggest things to help her and they will be accepted too.

 

[sheepfield]

I was up early only for the social worker to telephone to postpone till tomorrow. I've nothing else to do of course! I think that the appointment is at the same time as today, I might not have been paying attention to that bit as I also have ADHD tendencies.
I'm hoping to prime the social worker to suggest all sorts to her. My mother in law has trouble getting her words out so maybe speech and language could help. She's less mobile so maybe could do some physio exercises at home. Maybe an occupational therapist could suggest things to help. But she won't accept suggestions from me or my husband.

 

[helpingpeggy]

@sheepfield You could ask your relative’s GP to “please see her with a view to then referring her to speech therapy and physiotherapy if they feel it’d be helpful” as both of those are nhs services rather than social services. I’d use the phrase in quotation marks to prompt the GP

 

[sheepfield]

Ah sadly I currently don't have permission to talk to the GP. It's hard to get permission from someone who is confused and hard of hearing! I'm taking my mother in law for blood tests next week so I might be able to encourage her to let the surgery to communicate with me as well as her as back up 'just in case' she forgets appointments etc.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing what she would want as my mother in law never asks for anything. But then I see how thin she's getting, daytime sleeping instead of eating enough and going out and losing muscle tone and all the rest of it, and think I'm doing the right thing.

 

[sheepfield]

My mother in law has just had a visit from a social worker and kindly invited me along. They'll hopefully have someone starting in a week or so with helping with hearing aids, meals, medication prompting etc, which is surprisingly quickly.
It was good for a professional to do some digging and find out more than what my mother in law tells me and her son.
It still all feels so overwhelming, so much stuff to sort out.

 

[Kristo]

Ah sadly I currently don't have permission to talk to the GP. It's hard to get permission from someone who is confused and hard of hearing! I'm taking my mother in law for blood tests next week so I might be able to encourage her to let the surgery to communicate with me as well as her as back up 'just in case' she forgets appointments etc.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing what she would want as my mother in law never asks for anything. But then I see how thin she's getting, daytime sleeping instead of eating enough and going out and losing muscle tone and all the rest of it, and think I'm doing the right thing.

I don’t think you need permission - I wrote to my dad’s GP last year to detail my concerns and ask them to take specific action regarding a re-referral to memory clinic and a medication review, due to incontinence, agitation, aggression and total denial of his condition. I requested that my letter go on dad’s notes. It meant that they had true facts about dad’s condition that they could investigate and he could deny all he liked (e.g. he tells people that he does everything indoors but when questioned he can’t demonstrate how to tell the time, draw a square, repeat back simple information, tell the steps to making a sandwich etc) Worth a try? Good luck x

 

[sheepfield]

I've emailed my mother in law's GP a couple of times, naughty me! I don't receive a reply.
I will definitely brave another email to them to explain about all that's been going on, missing medication, not washing, not doing laundry and the mystery leg pain.
I hope that your dad can get the care that he needs from the GP. Like you I've found that what my mother in law says to professionals is often different to the reality at home.

 

[sheepfield]

Just an update: there is no start date yet for social care as there's no capacity says the social worker, who suggested that we contact the Community Meals Service, which doesn't need a referral. I'm not sure how someone who is deafblind and only appears to respond to suggestions from professionals is meant to contact them and arrange meals on wheels for herself. And it doesn't solve any of the other issues that my mother in law needs help with.
The social worker insists on trying to telephone and has asked me to be present with my mother in law to assist with communication. But she can't take in what I'm saying even right next to her. It's so frustrating and upsetting.

 

[sheepfield]

@helpingpeggy and @Kristo I just wanted to say a proper thank you for your replies.
Social care have finally started, just in the nick of time perhaps as my mother in law had stopped eating and wouldn't eat with me or if I cooked or encouraged her to prepare something or anything.
My mother in law's GP still hasn't represcribed her life preserving medication for high blood pressure despite the might of social care with their duty of care getting involved.
Apparently there will be a review in a few weeks time to see how things are going and to get finances in order. My mother in law won't discuss things like Attendance Allowance and Pension Credit with me so I hope that social services can help her to maximise her income.

 

[helpingpeggy]

@sheepfield , that sounds positive. I’m wondering if your emails to the GP are getting through and think maybe you could write a letter and post it instead? You’re not asking them to share information with you, but you’re giving them important information about their patient.

 

[sheepfield]

@helpingpeggy that's an excellent idea to write a ye olde letter with the information that I have.
I also want to get some thank you cards (when I have a spare moment!) for the social worker and sensory team worker. I'm sure that they get lots of complaints and are doing a stressful job with restricted resources. So an actual physical card might be nice for them.
I should get myself a gold medal whilst I'm about it! I'm so relieved that social care have started and it's made such a difference to my mother in law to be actually fed and washed rather than just thinking that she's doing those things.

 

[Kristo]

That’s good news and a really lovely idea about a card - I completely agree that social services are often seen as the “bad guys” - I remember my mum being horrified the first time I suggested that we get a care needs assessment: her exact words were “don’t call the social on us, they’ll take him away from me”, which was heartbreaking! We have had our assessment now and it went well, the team wrote their report up really quickly and kept mum updated all the way through.

What a lovely gesture and really important for everyone who plays a part in helping. Sending you a gold star for everything you have done! 🌟 Keep on keeping on!!

 

[sheepfield]

Ah that's excellent news about your report and the updates. And I'm glad that your mum was reassured after the initial shock.
Gold stars all round.
I ended up not being present for the assessment as social services arranged it for a time when I was at work. I'd previously gone to a couple of attempts at the assessment but there was a hiccup with getting medication arranged so they postponed twice! I struggled to the appointments only to be told that they'd have to try again another day. As you can imagine, caring for my autistic husband too I'm busy enough without that extra drain on my energy. At least it's done now.
And I have a plan for any future appointments that I'm invited to, to be prepared for an alternative activity eg shopping or cleaning instead of expecting things to go as planned.
They still get a gold star, it sounds like social services everywhere are in dire straits.