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So worried

Bluepanda

New member
Dec 27, 2017
6
My hubby went into hospital at the start of the year with sepsis as a result of a urine infection. He was medically fit within four weeks but as the consensus was he needed a care home numerous assessments had to be made . Things moved SO slowly that by the time things were nearly sorted this devastating virus struck, trapping hubby in hospital. He was aggressive and combatative when he needed attention but settled the rest of the time. The staff knew him and how to handle him. On Monday he had to be moved to another hospital to free up his acute bed. Since then he has deteriorated rapidly, not eating ,drinking and refusing medication.Of course he is now in a new situation, utterly confused and without the comfort of familiar staff.I haven’t been able to visit at all and can’t even visualise where he is.now as I don’t know the new hospital at all .He used to co-operate when I was with him as I visited all day. I just want to comfort him and hold his hand. I’m on my own and spend half my time in tears. I’m so scared he’ll fade away before I can see him again.It’s proving harder and harder to contact the ward and the right person to give me any information as understandably they are so busy.I feel so helpless.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,055
Yorkshire
Oh @Bluepanda such a difficult situation for you both, no wonder you are so upset

Might you contact the PALS at the new hospital to ask for their help with communication

I believe each hospital has a dementia matron, or similar title, have a look on the hospital website and contact them

Sometimes there's an Admiral Nurse based at a hospital too and they have a helpline

Maybe call Silver Line for someone to chat with

Sorry not to be able to really help
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
721
Hi @Bluepanda, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Some good advice from @Shedrech, the only additional suggestion I can make is to try and speak with Social Services and see if he can be discharged into a care home that will be able to offer a better level of care for a patient with dementia, however, that may be problematic if he has physically deteriorated. I can only say I can understand the feeling of helplessness and being scared, I don't think anyone else would feel any different. Do you have any friends or family that you can speak to (on the 'phone) and share how you are feeling, it must be very difficult trying to deal with everything on your own. I wish you all the best, keep posting.
 

Bluepanda

New member
Dec 27, 2017
6
Hi @Bluepanda, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Some good advice from @Shedrech, the only additional suggestion I can make is to try and speak with Social Services and see if he can be discharged into a care home that will be able to offer a better level of care for a patient with dementia, however, that may be problematic if he has physically deteriorated. I can only say I can understand the feeling of helplessness and being scared, I don't think anyone else would feel any different. Do you have any friends or family that you can speak to (on the 'phone) and share how you are feeling, it must be very difficult trying to deal with everything on your own. I wish you all the best, keep posting.
Hi @Bluepanda, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. Some good advice from @Shedrech, the only additional suggestion I can make is to try and speak with Social Services and see if he can be discharged into a care home that will be able to offer a better level of care for a patient with dementia, however, that may be problematic if he has physically deteriorated. I can only say I can understand the feeling of helplessness and being scared, I don't think anyone else would feel any different. Do you have any friends or family that you can speak to (on the 'phone) and share how you are feeling, it must be very difficult trying to deal with everything on your own. I wish you all the best, keep posting.
Thanks for trying to help. Nursing homes are on lockdown. If assessments had moved quicker he would be safely in a good dementia nursing home by now where they understand these conditions more than a general hospital
 

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