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  2. Q&A: Dementia Together Magazine - Wed 25 April, 4-5pm

    Do you have any questions about Dementia together, previously known as Living with dementia magazine? Maybe you'd like to know how they worked with people affected by dementia to come up with the magazine's new name, or how they decide on the articles to publish each issue? Danny and Gareth from the magazine team will be on hand to answer your questions in this thread on Wednesday 25 April between 4-5pm.

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So strange and unpredictable

Discussion in 'Recently diagnosed and early stages of dementia' started by Moggi, Apr 15, 2018 at 8:00 PM.

  1. Moggi

    Moggi Registered User

    Sep 15, 2017
    12
    Hello everyone
    Although I think my Mum is in the relatively early stages of AD and her personality is pretty much intact I suddenly discover such strange things like that she doesn't remember the house were my brother and I were children for 15 years. It's so confusing because although her short term memory is increasingly affected she could certainly 'pass for normal to people who don't know her well and yet there are some yawning gaps in her long-term memory which I had thought would be retained for longer.
    It's so painful. She doesn't remember some special moment that have always bonded us together. I am at a loss and so is she - we just keep clinging to each other and sobbing but the gulf we can't close is only set to widen isn't it? How do so many people bear what is unbearable. Can't life be put in reverse or at least paused? Everything is streaming and screaming past my ears - can't I fix my Mother with glue? Of course not , but like so many on here I am broken hearted and at a loss ...
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    1,363
    Male
    N Ireland
    It is so hard and I empathise. In my life I think it's best to focus on the present as trying to look back and my wife being unable to remember only reinforces the knowledge of the disease and worrying about the future can cause unnecessary stress as our worst fears may never come to pass.
     
  3. Norfolk Cherry

    Norfolk Cherry Registered User

    Feb 17, 2018
    78
    Yes, it's unbearable. My mum said today "I know my memory is bad, it feels like a fog. This morning I had a flash of a memory from the past and it felt so real, then it had gone" She couldn't tell me what it was? I try not to think about the fact that her life has effectively been wiped out, and I can't make it right and I can't make her happy as she used to be. I've lost that person. So hard to comfort her. But karaoke Pete is right, living in the moment is the key. Making some moments count just as they are is all we can do.
     
  4. Moggi

    Moggi Registered User

    Sep 15, 2017
    12
    Yes, all we do is focus on making the present as good as it can be - and I suppose that counts for us all and not just people with dementia. It is anguish though - let's hope that progress is made with some kind of cure so that newer generations are spared this horrible disease. When it comes to it there is no option but to be strong but I sometimes wish there was
     

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