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so many questions...

flowerball1

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
18
Hi

This is my first post although I have been avidly reading and searching TP for information for a few months now and have found it really helpful. It helps to 'put me back in my box' when I get over tired and stressed and makes me realise how many others are sharing similar and often worse experiences. I'm doing my best to work through this ever changing world, but have some questions that keep running through my head... so I thought I'd ask them and see what happens.

Mum (86) was diagnosed with AZ and vascular dementia about 3 years ago. 4 months ago I gave up work to look after her full time hoping that we would be able to enjoy this summer whilst she was relatively stable... silly me. Whilst her physical condition has improved considerably, I cannot believe how her mental state has deteriorated so quickly. From being able to look after herself whilst I went to work and negotiate a 2 bus journey to a local club, she now has difficulty finding the loo or her bedroom and cannot finish or making coherent sentences at times.

She is severely deaf and I have to communicate by written messages which does not help and her ability to cope with these is also rapidly diminishing.

She has become totally dependent on me and cannot be left alone without becoming distressed. This occurs day or night and she frequently wakes shouting and shrieking for help. She has recently started creating problems when going to bed as she falls asleep on the sofa around 7.30pm but insists that bedtime is not until 10pm when everyone must go to bed. Unfortunately having had some sleep, she than goes through the fiasco of putting herself to bed only to decide she is not ready to sleep and starts shouting for help. We then play the game of going downstairs or upstairs until she finally falls asleep...she demands that I go wherever she does!

I have tried keeping her awake throughout the day, but it seems to make no difference. Is there some medication that could relax her somewhat and help her to sleep a bit better?

I spend my days trying to take her out in the car to distract her as much as possible from some of her worst behaviour, but I am increasingly running out of ideas. Unfortunately the local AZ drop in days clash with her day care day and whilst I become increasingly tired, she becomes increasingly bored, frustrated and agitated. Does anyone have any ideas on any alternative activities we could try?.

She has had me clear out every single cupboard, shed and wardrobe in the house saying there is 'too much stuff in there' and that we don't need it. Only the kitchen and my wardrobe have escaped, but I have had to put a lock on the wardrobe and put food on the top shelves to stop her throwing these away as well... I am running out of places to keep things! Is this usual and does it ever go away?

Mum only has 3 teeth and I now have to ensure her meals are mashed and soft. She blames the teeth, but she would frequently seem to gag before and I wonder whether she might be showing early signs of problems swallowing... mashing food seems to be working at present, but how would I know if the swallowing problems are starting/worsening?

Any thoughts or experiences on the above would be most welcome... and if someone can tell me which key on my laptop I keep pressing that changes the size of the view I will be eternally grateful. I keep doing it and can't figure it out!!!!
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,219
Welcome
I can only suggest that you speak to her GP, see if there's an infection, in her water works.
A medication review?
If she's fit enough, sleeping pills may be worth trying. But beware, they may make her only drowsy, and she'll still try to carry on as normal!!

Bod
 

BLONDY

Registered User
Oct 29, 2011
79
2000 MILES AWAY
Hello you are fighting a battle you cannot win blend food with water or gravy you need to seek help GP Social services the local Alzheimer's society have a wealth of knowledge please ask any of them no one person can cope alone help is out there all you have to do is ask

Sent from my LC0901D using Talking Point mobile app
 

soo43

Registered User
Sep 1, 2013
5
Hi Flowerball1 and welcome, try pressing and holding down the control key (ctl) and then the +/= key, this should increase your view. Hope this is what you were looking for.
 

flowerball1

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
18
Hi Flowerball1 and welcome, try pressing and holding down the control key (ctl) and then the +/= key, this should increase your view. Hope this is what you were looking for.
Fantastic... I can now see the screen without squinting! Thankyou kindly!
 

flowerball1

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
18
Welcome
I can only suggest that you speak to her GP, see if there's an infection, in her water works.
A medication review?
If she's fit enough, sleeping pills may be worth trying. But beware, they may make her only drowsy, and she'll still try to carry on as normal!!

Bod
Thanks Bod... We had her checked for UTI last week and there was none, but I think it worth pursuing the medication review. I did wonder about the effect of sleeping pills but it would be so good if she could just lose some of the anxiety and maybe sleep more comfortably.
 

wheelieb

Registered User
Sep 6, 2013
11
Newport, South Wales
Hi Flowerball1, welcome. :) I'm glad I'm not the only one with lots of questions!!!

I think a medication review is definitely needed, perhaps sleeping tablets are not the answer as they could put her at risk of falls, but there are tablets available that could help relax her better.

With the gagging etc, perhaps it is linked to the teeth, AH or perhaps it is habit. I wonder does she sit at a table to eat or sit in the chair with a tray? I ask, because my MIL was choking every mealtime, but she preferred to sit in the chair with a laptray, which is what she did when in her own home. I got her to sit at the table to eat and the choking stopped. So it could be positional with your Mum.

Losing her way etc is awful to watch, but you may find that some days she can do things better than others. My MIL has vascular dementia and some days can't walk properly at all and others it is much better. There are no answers to it really, other than to make sure there are no obstacles in the way and the way is well lit.

With the boredom, have you tried doing things with her? For instance looking at photo's and making a memory book, playing dominoes or cards, painting or colouring. I got MIL to do some water colour painting, as she said she used to do that at school (she's now 88)! There are some lovely pictures you can download from Pinterest for free. Maybe something like this will work, maybe not, but worth a try. Good luck, let us know what happens. Hugs xx
 

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