So angry.

[kelkel]

2 weeks ago we got the heartbreaking news that Dad was in end stage. He was in hospital because his blood sugars were extremely high & he stopped eating & drinking. After discussions with the doctor we all agreed it would be in Dads best interest to stop iv fluids & an end of life/palliative care plan put in place. The care home that he has been in For 8 months now refuse to take him back, so we are in the process of trying to get him into a nursing home. For the last 2 weeks we've been watching him slowly fade away, until today when we get to the hospital to find he's been moved to a different ward and the doctor on that ward has decided that Dad is dehydrated & put him back on iv fluids!! To say I'm mad is an understatement.
My poor darling dad now has to go through all this again & its breaking my heart. Not to mention we as a family have to watch it all again. The doctor concerned just said well I can't let a patient be that dehydrated. When he's discharged his palliative care plan can be put into place! Obviously didnt read the notes that say hes already on palliative care. Sorry for the rant I'm just so angry & upset.

 

[lin1]

Hello how awful
Was this Dr the Consultant your Dad is under or one of his team.
As it is Saturday I strongly suspect the Consultant is not on duty.

I would make an urgent appointment to speak to the Consultant first. The ward sister should be able to arrange this. before taking it further.

Ordinarily I would agree with this Dr , but their comes a time when all that is done is delaying death and that to me is cruel not only to the person but their family as well.
What your poor dad needs now is excellent palliative care

 

[lin1]

Hi
I replied on your other thread.
If you would like them amalgamated just say here and I am sure a MOD will help.

 

[kelkel]

Only meant to post once. Not sure how I managed to do it twice.

 

[CollegeGirl]

I just wanted to send you my support - what a terrible situation for you all. I'm not surprised at how angry you are. This sort of decision must have taken an awful lot of courage, and to have it all undermined in this way must have been quite devastating.

I'm so sorry, and I hope you get some answers, and most of all I hope your dear dad is peaceful and comfortable for the remainder of his time.

 

[ASH74]

Agree it is unlikely to be a consultant at the weekend, I agree an urgent meeting with the consultant on Monday but the ward sister/charge nurse/senior staff nurse can call matron down over the weekend...and she will certainly have some clout with the F1/F2 (junior docs) and SpR's over the weekend.

Not nearly as serious with my FIL but an F1 tried to discharge him home on a Saturday with no support.....only me with firm words to Matron that prevented it......we had been promised on the Friday by the consultant that he would be in over the weekend at least!


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point

 

[Grannie G]

I will merge the Threads for you kelkel.

I`m so sorry about your dad.

 

[kelkel]

No this wasn't dads consultant. He was the one that advised us that nothing more could be done for dad & that we were being kinder to just let him go. From what I can gather this was another doctor on dads new ward.
I think I'd just come to terms with the fact that dad was nearing the end. Now I feel like its all starting again. From what was said I think they are just going to keep pumping him with fluids until he's discharged. Part of me feels guilty for wanting it to be over for him. Surely I should be happy they're keeping him going. But the other part of me knows Dad wouldn't want to carry on like this.

 

[lin1]

Hello Kelkel.
I really feel for you.
You made the tough but right decision for your Dad and now ...

Hopefully you will be able to speak to Dad's Consultant tomorrow.
Please let us know how you get on
((((((HUG))))))

 

[kelkel]

Well yesterday we were called in to see the consultant on dads ward, get there to find them just attaching him to another drip. When i asked what they were doing they said his blood sugars were high & they needed to get fluids into him to lower them. Explained the situation to the nurse & he didn't turn the drip on. Met with doctor who explained the original doctor hadn't written anything in his notes about stopping iv fluids. Then asked us whether we wanted to stop all dads medication & iv & let nature take its course. Which is what we agreed 2 weeks ago! Now this is all written up in dads notes & all medication has been stopped except for palliative care meds. Dad has hardly eaten or drunk anything for 2 weeks & has completley stopped in the last 48 hours. This afternoon he has been transferred to a nursing home. I just hope & pray he has a quiet peaceful end to this horrible disease.

 

[Pigeon11]

I just wanted to offer my sympathy and support. It seems there was a breakdown in comunications but still, very distressing for you.

I know this is a very difficult time but you have made the right decsion and it's just a shame you have had to go through it twice. I'm sure the end will be peaceful for your dad as you hope.

Take care

(((()))))

 

[janemit]

it's so hard

My mum is the same. Has vacular dementia and is in a residential home. Has deteriorated so quickly now immobile and reluctant to eat and drink, every 10 weeks ends up being admitted to hospital for dehydration and actively treated with iv fluids and occasionally antibiotics. Has a community DNA and a new DNR signed on every admission. Have begged the home not to send her in but they say that they are residential NOT nursing home and ring 111 who of course tell them to send for an ambulance. So when paramedics go they see a poor confused lady not making sense which is quite normal so take her in to hospital. It is very difficult but also distressing for mum who has no idea where she is.

 

[kelkel]

Dads gone.

4 days after going into the nursing home my lovely dad passed away in the early hours of Sunday morning. It was as peaceful as I had hoped it would be. Sleep tight Dad. xxx

 

[AlsoConfused]

Peace to all of you. Your Dad's free and safe now.

 

[lin1]

KelKel
Please accept my condolences.
We are here if you need us

 

[jeany123]

Please accept my sympathy, It must be a comfort to you to know that it was peaceful,

 

[cragmaid]

A peaceful end .....so sorry for your loss, Maureen.x.