hi ive been caring for my wife now for 5 yrs this last six months have been realy bad as she wont sleep on a night the doctor gave some sleeping tabs zopiclone which worked at first but didnt last long they would put her to sleep for 2 hrs then she would be up ,then we tried temazipam ,and niazipam even a 10 mg dose wouldnt put her to sleep im at my wits end because obviously im not getting any sleep my wife is 57 yoa can anyone give any advice harryo
sleep probs
- Thread starter harryo
- Start date
Hi Harry and welcome to TP.
My dad (a lot older than your wife) would rarely sleep through the night. He was often up and showering in the early hours, thinking it was time to get up.
The problem I think with many sleeping tablets, is that they can make you sleepy during the day, and then you are just as likely to be awake during the night. For this reason we never bothered with sleeping tablets.
What does your wife do when she wakes? Does she insist that you get up too? We founds with my dad that as long as the front door was locked, he would just go downstairs, sit in the lounge and drift off to sleep again. If however your wife is not safe to be left, that is no solution for you.
All I can suggest is that you get back on to the GP/Consultant to discuss other drugs. I know that some antidepressants can help with sleeping at night. I hope you get some rest, as sleep deprivation is the worst kind of torture.
My dad (a lot older than your wife) would rarely sleep through the night. He was often up and showering in the early hours, thinking it was time to get up.
The problem I think with many sleeping tablets, is that they can make you sleepy during the day, and then you are just as likely to be awake during the night. For this reason we never bothered with sleeping tablets.
What does your wife do when she wakes? Does she insist that you get up too? We founds with my dad that as long as the front door was locked, he would just go downstairs, sit in the lounge and drift off to sleep again. If however your wife is not safe to be left, that is no solution for you.
All I can suggest is that you get back on to the GP/Consultant to discuss other drugs. I know that some antidepressants can help with sleeping at night. I hope you get some rest, as sleep deprivation is the worst kind of torture.
I think another part of the problem is that most of the sleeping drugs I've come across require a certain amount of cooperation from the person taking them: if they won't lie down and settle for sleep all you have is someone who is still moving around but who is now partially drugged so more likely to fall etc.. Before she had her strokes my mother was a regular user of diazepam (in steadily increasing doses which is not good but anyway..) However, after her strokes I removed them. One night when she couldn't settle and it was getting latter and later I in desperation gave her one dose, with the result that she now could/would not go to sleep but was even more confused and uncertain on her feet. She finally went to sleep at 6am and slept for 12 hours which wasn't the intent 
Is she sleeping during the day? Or having anything with caffeine in at night? Is she getting enough exercise (I know it's difficult in winter)?
Is she sleeping during the day? Or having anything with caffeine in at night? Is she getting enough exercise (I know it's difficult in winter)?
A hard one. I am basically in favour of sleeping pills (unlike some people)if they give someone a decent nights rest.
It does sound as though your doctor has been trying to ring the changes - perhaps it's worth asking if anything else (perhaps not a sleeping pill as such but something like a sedative anti-depressant) could be added?
I think the idea of excercise before bed (if yr wife is mobile) is a good one, also a sugary camomile or mint tea?
Good luck. I know how shattering a lack of sleep can be.
It does sound as though your doctor has been trying to ring the changes - perhaps it's worth asking if anything else (perhaps not a sleeping pill as such but something like a sedative anti-depressant) could be added?
I think the idea of excercise before bed (if yr wife is mobile) is a good one, also a sugary camomile or mint tea?
Good luck. I know how shattering a lack of sleep can be.
I do think that doctors have a one track mind when it comes to people with dementia who can not sleep at night. As a person with this condition I have gone through many nights when I struggled to sleep, however I could quite often sit in a chair after lunch and go dead to the world for an hour and nothing will wake me up till I am ready. After this I usually feel much better than being in bed all night.
I sometimes take a small ipod or radio up stairs with me with ear phones and listen to some classical or plain relaxing music and that usually works after a while. If not I go down stairs and listen to it so that I do not wake anyone up.
I think we have to be very careful not to give sleeping tablets just to try to make people sleep, because like it or not people with dementia do not like tablets and many do not trust them.
My wife knows that I can not get out of the house, so I am as safe as I can be anywhere, according to a top consultant.
Best Wishes
Ken
I sometimes take a small ipod or radio up stairs with me with ear phones and listen to some classical or plain relaxing music and that usually works after a while. If not I go down stairs and listen to it so that I do not wake anyone up.
I think we have to be very careful not to give sleeping tablets just to try to make people sleep, because like it or not people with dementia do not like tablets and many do not trust them.
My wife knows that I can not get out of the house, so I am as safe as I can be anywhere, according to a top consultant.
Best Wishes
Ken
Dear ken
I think we have to be very careful not to give sleeping tablets just to try to make people sleep, because like it or not people with dementia do not like tablets and many do not trust them.
I agree with you, Ron does not like tablet's.
Barb XX & Ron ZZZ
I think we have to be very careful not to give sleeping tablets just to try to make people sleep, because like it or not people with dementia do not like tablets and many do not trust them.
I agree with you, Ron does not like tablet's.
Barb XX & Ron ZZZ
I was wondering that also ? .
As when my mother first started to show those symptoms. My mother would wonder around the house looking for me at late odd hours into the night time , asking me, when she found me “When are you getting up to make breakfast? If I told mum to go back to bed she just wonder around the front room moving the chairs around.
Then I found that leaving the TV on in front room, would do the trick would find mum sleeping on the settee, in the front room.
My father pass away , mum would not settle back sleeping in a bedroom on her own anymore , So I found a TV in her room gave her company, but then she still get up . So putting a bed in fount room did the trick .
Now if mum woke me up in the middle of the night, banging Zimmer frame on the way to the toilet, I go downstairs just find my mother sitting on her bed looking at TV.
She tell me “see I can’t sleep “ But then that could be down to that on that day mum not been to day centre , so been sleeping of on all day.
Sleeping tables never work with my mother also in the early stages of her dementia
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Hi harryo,
Do you have any outside carers coming in to help with the care of your wife? If the medications to assist sleep don't work, it might be possible to have a carer once or twice a week as a nightime sitter (awake). If the sleep deprivation has really ground you down, you might want to start thinking about taking a respite break.
Is your wife on any other medications? Have you got a social worker?
Take care,
Sandy
Do you have any outside carers coming in to help with the care of your wife? If the medications to assist sleep don't work, it might be possible to have a carer once or twice a week as a nightime sitter (awake). If the sleep deprivation has really ground you down, you might want to start thinking about taking a respite break.
Is your wife on any other medications? Have you got a social worker?
Take care,
Sandy
hi sandy my wife is very unsteady on her feet ,lost her speech i do have a social worker ,and we are going to try some respite for 4 nights in feb but its the lack of sleep i can cope when i get my sleep when she gets out of bed she just stands up moaning and in winter its cold ive tried leaving tv on light on all to no avail thanks for your reply paul
hi all thanks for all your input ,my wife is very unsteady on her feet ,shes lost her speech ,cant be left on her own when she gets out of bed she just stands moaning she seems to think she wants toilet all the time ,thing is if i get my sleep i can cope but this last six months have been realy bad ive tried leaving tv on light on allto no avail i even have to sit her on toilet or she misses seat i dress and bath her feed her etc how do you see about gettin sitters how does it work? regards paul
the night shift
Paul we have been having similar problem with my husband trev who is 58 ,he also has no speech ,doubly incontinent, which i just about cope with but the disturbed sleep patterns really get me down, Trev will go to bed but it is like a compulsion,to jump up and walk around bedroom as you say making a moaning noise, or hovering over me arranging duvet well shaking it, so sleep is impossible. i have recently removed anything dangerous off my dresser,made sure floor is clear, pushed settee in front of door ,.so he can not get out of bedroom, luckily it is a large bedroom,so i just let him pace to his hearts content whilst i dose, We tried zopiclone but seemed to make him high instesd of drowsy,then when i get him to bed about 2 am he sleeps till 11 next day, so he is getting plenty rest, but i work from home so have to be up by 7 agh just to let you know you are not on your own with the night shift, night sitters very hard to come by and very costly goodnight Pam
Paul we have been having similar problem with my husband trev who is 58 ,he also has no speech ,doubly incontinent, which i just about cope with but the disturbed sleep patterns really get me down, Trev will go to bed but it is like a compulsion,to jump up and walk around bedroom as you say making a moaning noise, or hovering over me arranging duvet well shaking it, so sleep is impossible. i have recently removed anything dangerous off my dresser,made sure floor is clear, pushed settee in front of door ,.so he can not get out of bedroom, luckily it is a large bedroom,so i just let him pace to his hearts content whilst i dose, We tried zopiclone but seemed to make him high instesd of drowsy,then when i get him to bed about 2 am he sleeps till 11 next day, so he is getting plenty rest, but i work from home so have to be up by 7 agh just to let you know you are not on your own with the night shift, night sitters very hard to come by and very costly goodnight Pam
Dear Paul
I can`t offer any solution but I do want to offer sympathy and understanding, for what its worth.
My husband sleeps well so I consider myself very lucky. I`m the one who has sleeping problems.
But at least when I wake in the early hours i can listen to the radio, come on TP, relax and be peaceful, whereas the constant wandering round and `moaning` must be impossible.
Have you tried the old standbys like hot milky drinks, Ovaltine, Cocoa, Horlicks?
I can`t offer any solution but I do want to offer sympathy and understanding, for what its worth.
My husband sleeps well so I consider myself very lucky. I`m the one who has sleeping problems.
But at least when I wake in the early hours i can listen to the radio, come on TP, relax and be peaceful, whereas the constant wandering round and `moaning` must be impossible.
Have you tried the old standbys like hot milky drinks, Ovaltine, Cocoa, Horlicks?
Paul forgot to say my husband now goes into respite 1 week every 6 weeks, you would think i would sleep for England wouldn't you but no pleasing some folk, i cannot sleep because he his not there to cuddle up to and i cannot smell him so i still end up on the night shift, hope your respite is more benifical. Pam
The social worker who organize the respite for 4 night , should also give you someone to come in to house to give you a break .
4 days ? is that in a care home .
Is that all the help your social worker has offed you ?
Your wife needs sound very high, so you should be getting someone 7 days a week to help you out . Unless you or your wife do not want all that help .
My mother like that also, but her Kidney our not so good anymore from the diabetic .
When was the last time your wife had a urine test ?
Do you have any Incontinent pads for your wife ?
Sorry for the few question.
hi all as long as i prompt my wife she will go to toilet obviously have had some accidents,i now have a nurse who copmes every 2 wks but all he does is take her bp her kidneys and health in general is good its just the sleep the nurse is seeing doctor about amtrypalyne dont know if ive spelt it right so will try that paul
hi pam i had to pack in work to look after my wife so took early retirement my company were very good to me ,the thing with my wife is the zopiclone would put her to sleep but would only last 2 hrs then she would be up its the first time im trying respite in a home dont know how ill go on just trying 4 nights for a start back to the sleep wife is not half as bad when shes had some sleep but normally its a couple of hours a night and then shes nodding off all day regards paul
Hello Paul...
I'm just entering the "sleep problem" with my husband...and am feeling very sleep deprived....
Eric has a "big" sleep in the morning after breakfast...sometimes again in the afternoon..and again in the evening..wakes up about 10...goes to bed about 12....and is up with an urgency about 5.
My problem is that he is prone to falling..and falls are more likely to occur on waking while he is "groggy" and unsteady..so I feel I have to be on watch at these times.
Just now I'm living with it and more or less coping...but after only a maximum of 4 hrs sleep last night I do begin to wonder how long I'll be able to sustain this.
It's a relatively new problem so I haven't thought about medication yet...
You have my understanding and sympathy....it's a tough part of the journey..and just now every day seems to bring something different.
Look after yourself..and keep posting...
Love gigi xx
I'm just entering the "sleep problem" with my husband...and am feeling very sleep deprived....
Eric has a "big" sleep in the morning after breakfast...sometimes again in the afternoon..and again in the evening..wakes up about 10...goes to bed about 12....and is up with an urgency about 5.
My problem is that he is prone to falling..and falls are more likely to occur on waking while he is "groggy" and unsteady..so I feel I have to be on watch at these times.
Just now I'm living with it and more or less coping...but after only a maximum of 4 hrs sleep last night I do begin to wonder how long I'll be able to sustain this.
It's a relatively new problem so I haven't thought about medication yet...
You have my understanding and sympathy....it's a tough part of the journey..and just now every day seems to bring something different.
Look after yourself..and keep posting...
Love gigi xx
HI There
Do you have direct payments in your area. You need to get a proper assesment as a carer and get what you are entitled to. Like other people have said on here you need to tell it how it is. It is unfair of social services to think you can cope without sleep all this time. If you had a direct payment you could decide to perhaps use it to have a night sitter 2 nights a week or so . Then at least you get some sleep .Does your dear wife get much stinulation during the day. Does she go to a day centre or suchlike. I find the more stinulation the better it seems to work for us. My dad is shattered by 6pm and is put to bed he wakes up a little later say 8 for a couple of hours but on the whole sleeps .
I think you need to get more help asap.
Love
Angela x
Do you have direct payments in your area. You need to get a proper assesment as a carer and get what you are entitled to. Like other people have said on here you need to tell it how it is. It is unfair of social services to think you can cope without sleep all this time. If you had a direct payment you could decide to perhaps use it to have a night sitter 2 nights a week or so . Then at least you get some sleep .Does your dear wife get much stinulation during the day. Does she go to a day centre or suchlike. I find the more stinulation the better it seems to work for us. My dad is shattered by 6pm and is put to bed he wakes up a little later say 8 for a couple of hours but on the whole sleeps .
I think you need to get more help asap.
Love
Angela x
