six weeks on

[shauna]

Its been six weeks since my mum died.

Sunday is very hard for me as ive always spent sunday with mum .Today i feel very low and feel as though my heart will break because i miss her so much.
I visit her grave every week and spend a lot of time talking to her and it gives me comfort and i feel close to her. I just wish i could see her beautifull smile just one more time i love her so much it hurts.

Shauna

 

[BeckyJan]

Hello Shauna:

I am glad you could come back to TP to express your feelings. It must be terribly hard and understand that Sundays must be especially difficult.

Its good you get some comfort from just talking to her at the graveside, but sad at the same time.

Wish there was something more comforting to say. Best wishes

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Sorry you are missing your mum so deeply Shauna. I don't suppose you will ever stop missing her, but it's a very short time since her passing. You must still be feeling very raw. Look after yourself. I am sure your mum would want you to live a happy fulfilled life and not be cast so low by her loss. Take it easy now.

 

[shauna]

Thank you Deborah and Becky for your kind words.

Its comforting to know that i can come on to TP and just let my feelings go .
I am only now starting to grieve for my mum because for the last few weeks
i have been surrounded by relatives and friends and now my life is back to normal
mum;s death has hit me like a tornado. Im trying to remember her when she was
happy and living at home and not the last 4 months of her life she spent in the
nursing home when she was so distressed and unhappy .I could never come to terms with my mum being in a nursing home eventhough we the family didn't have a choice
it still does not make it easy to live with. I just hope she knows that i did the very best i could for her.

Shauna.

 

[maryw]

Hello Shauna, I remember feeling like you after my Mum died. 6 weeks is nothing in the grand scheme of things. We moved a door recently and 3 weeks later I'm still going to the old place to open the door.... Just think how much bigger the loss of a parent is. You WILL learn to live with it, it just takes time... Feel free to talk to us about it, lots of us have had similar experiences x

 

[BeckyJan]

I just hope she knows that i did the very best i could for her.

I am sure she does . And because you were here on TP many of the members know how much you cared and did your utmost. This wretched illness sadly takes over not only the sufferer but the carers too.

Please come back and share if it helps. Best wishes

 

[together]

Shauna, Feel so sorry for you, it's now 7 months for me and Monday is my tough day, everyone says time helps and yes it does. It's lovely that you can talk to her - you're one step ahead there,I know we're all different. Hold on to all those lovely memories you have. I made a photo album on TP where I could write knowing people here understand, it really helped me and on those tough days I return to it . I feel for you, everyone says don't bottle it up, I know tears are hard but it does help. Sending love and strength, take care Katherine x

 

[Saffie]

I am so sorry that you are feeling the loss of your mother so terribly. You did the best you could for your mother and your relationship was obviously very close and that, if she could have, she would have understood perfectly why you and your family had to place her in a nursing home for her own sake. Please don't beat yourself up about this. We all feel the guilt of this action we have to take.

I still can shed tears for my mother who passed away nearly 30 years ago, having suffered from this same illness. It only takes a little thing to remind me - a passing reference, a piece of music - anything, but I have learnt to live with this and the tears are not like the ones I now shed for my husband who is in the grip of this blight on his life. They are of love and sentiment and nostalgia rather than guilt, pity and sheer despair which are those for my husband.

Your tears will change too, very gradually and you will realise that your mother is still with you in your heart and in your memories. Sending you lots of love and sympathy. God Bless.X

 

[Izzy]

I do know how you feel. It's 10 weeks since my mum died and Saturday 24th September would have been her 94th birthday. Everywhere we go we have been with mum and she still feels very much a part of everything. Your mum will always be with you too. x