Similar Situations?


Registered User
Apr 13, 2008
This is my first post on this forum. My wife and I are living with my grandmother who I believe is in some stage of alzheimer's. we have not had any tests done but her independence to do things is deteriorating. She is 84 and we are in our early thirties. Some of her symptoms recently have included

- getting up in the middle of night to wash her clothes in the bathroom sink
-compulsiveness to clean without actually doing much
-sleeping far more in the day than she used to
- forgetting her great grand children and confusing me as a grandfather to my sister's children
-not being able to complete what she wants to say - particularly in the evenings
- not knowing if someone has called at the house or phoned during the day.

There are a few more significants tendencies but I suppose I am writing this hoping that someone who may be in a similar situation can relate to the anxiety and want to do the best to support. We also have a three year old son so the four of us have a 'lively' time on a day to day basis. My grandmother has two children but both have severed ties with us as a family unit (not that we mind that - sure some of you know what families can be like) Any feedback or comments would be warmly received. Thanks for your time in reading this


Registered User
Sep 7, 2007
Hello and Welcome to Talking point.

I am sorry to hear of your grandmother's situation and a lot of what you have said i am sure will resemble what others have gone through or just starting to go through, It is a very difficult time to understand and come to terms with the person before you becomes a different person. My Mum has Alzeimers, we were told of her condition nearly a year ago and what a difference that has made to my family and I. My Mum lived with me and my husband as my Dad died 11 years ago and i didn't want to let Mum live by herself. When i think back i guess my Mum started to have memory problems about 2-3 years ago, at first it was forgetting recent converstaions, followed by her not really wanting to do much during the day and sleeping more which was a slow decline, then more recently before she went into hospital last June she started to wander at nightimes and get me to go to work, then she became agressive and started to lose bowel contro;. She had already had a memory test done and an MRI scan done and we were waiting results until one day she just flipped and we got her into an assessment ward for further test, she is still currently there waiting for a move into an EMI nursing home.
She has gone downhill very quickly in less than a year and it is very upsetting.
Please do not feel you are alone there are a lot of good people here who will understand and offer love,support and advice.

You really need to try and get your grandmother to see a doctor and have a memory test done to find out what is going on.
This illness is one of the worse you have to witness, as it robs your loved one of their memory and dignity and also it robs us of the person we have known, loved and cared for over your lifetime.

i wish you luck and lots of love with your grandmother and you and your family if your grandmother has this awful illness you will have a tough road ahead of you, there will be high's and low's and you will have to learn to come to terms with each stage of the illness and that is really hard to deal with.
I am really sorry if that sounds a bit harsh but i am speaking from my heart and experience so far.

Best wishes

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Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
Hello Mi77ie

Welcome to Talking Point. I think it's wonderful that your grandmothers has you to look after her and that you are noticing some different behavioural patterns. There are many types of dementia and my husband has a dementia that is not Alzheimers which I, at first, assumed that it might be.

My first port of call was his G.P. I think this would be advisable because your grandmother will have the opportunity to start the process of diagnosis in case she ever needs help in the future. Also you never know whether there are things that might help her now.

Very best regards



Registered User
Jul 17, 2012
in my opinion, and its only my opinion--im no dr. im a retired school teacher, but if theres such a change id go to the dr. letbthem do the tests. how do you know whats wrong, or even if somethings wrong ?my mom died from alzeimers 8 months ago. im not saying this is the diagnosis because i certainly dont know. i know my mom. it was like over night she changed. it started with a lock on her door. she and my dad owned an apartment. she clsimed the lock was broken and if she leaves the house someone wont let her back. there was nothing qwrong with the lock. she was also talking and making no sense. my mom was a very intelligent, wise lady. she took care of my dad when he was sick, her parents when they were ill- she was the strong person everyone went to if they need someone. then on my birthday she sent a beautiful card with a visa bill. she used to send me a check every year so id buy what i want. i knew something was definitely wrong. she went to a neurologist and failed every test. the mri confirmed alzeimers. i was in shock. nobody in her family has dementia. she had frontal lobe dementia and the dr said shed go fast. she died in 11 months. i didnt know what hit me. that was 8 months ago.i have no parents, but i have good memories. i tell you this story not to scare you, but to show you that if someones persona<lity is not what it should be and you notice such big changes, id check it. that doesnt mean your grandmother has what my mom had. i just think you should check with a good neurologist. it might not be bad. you dont know till the tests are done. im sorry to hear what youre going thru, but i really would check this out with a good neurologist.