SIL has told mum we're on holiday

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Pear trees, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    441
    My SIL has told my mum we are on holiday for 2 weeks despite me asking her not to. She has also said I will not call her. I can't understand why as she knows mum will get confused and upset.
    My mum is now convinced no-one will be coming to see her, she will have no food and will be left to starve. She is pushing her panic button almost daily.
    I've tried to reassure her and put messages on her white board but nothing helps. I have told her I will still call her late pm.
    I have been planning this Panama Canal cruise for over a year for my OH's 60th. I have done all I can to make sure she is looked after while I'm away.
     
  2. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    It's done and you can't change it. Tell your Brother(?)/SIL to deal with the fallout. Go away and enjoy yourself - you deserve it and doubtless you need the break.
     
  3. lori107

    lori107 Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    45
    I agree with redlou, you can't change anything now, just go away and enjoy your precious time the OH. Get your relatives to sort it out. You've done everything right.
    Have a wonderful time

    Lori
    Xx
     
  4. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    441
    It looks like we won't be going now anyway. My OH went to bed really early with a recurring sinus infection and is on strong antibiotics, saying he's not up to the long flight tomorrow.
    I'm having a good cry in the spare room surrounded by suitcases and praying he feels better at 5.00am, and hoping to get some sleep myself.
     
  5. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,623
    USA
    oh, no

    I don't have anything helpful to say, just very sorry to hear your news. I hope that somehow, it works out for you.
     
  6. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,603
    West Midlands
    Easy. The tickets are booked so go with or without OH :eek:

    Yeah I know. It's not that easy.....

    Why is it that we, those that do the caring are never considered???

    Hoping you get your canal cruise. Sometimes we have to care for ourselves hard though that is.....

    I'm sorry. I'm going through a WHY ALWAYS ME, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME phase......

    I've had carer breakdown. Don't let it happen to you. Get that sinus filled OH up and ready for 5am. The break will do you both good. Canal air to clear his sinus, middle of nowhere for you

    xxxxxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  7. Il Gufo

    Il Gufo Registered User

    Feb 27, 2013
    203
    Oh Peartrees, how disappointing for you! I hope I'm not overstepping the mark, but OH seems a bit dramatic ? If he's got strong antibiotics they should quickly kick in, and he is only 60, not in his dotage . If he refuses to go I agree with 2Jays - be strong and go alone. I'm willing to bet if you tell OH you're thinking of doing so he will suddenly be able to travel after all!
     
  8. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    539
    Female
    Shropshire
    Yes totally agree if oh let's you down go on your own He should be happy you are going Have a great time.
     
  9. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    1,084
    Brazil
    A hot and humid weather will be good for his sinus. There are some nasal spray that helps on flights (sinus may cause ear pain in flight).

    Have a nice vacation.
     
  10. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    441
    Thanks for suggestions. I think the antibiotics will work overnight, he just gets all stressed beforehand about the flight. He's well over 6' so I have booked extra leg room and got sprays etc.
    I will suggest going without him, and he stays to look after my mum, that's bound to make him suddenly get better!
     
  11. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    441
    A good nights sleep and 3 ab later and he is ok. Caribbean here we come
     
  12. MrsTerryN

    MrsTerryN Registered User

    Dec 17, 2012
    773
    Good to hear. Hope you have a great time.
     
  13. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Bon voyage!! xx
     
  14. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,580
    Female
    Dundee
    I hope things are ok this morning and the holiday is on track. x
     
  15. Il Gufo

    Il Gufo Registered User

    Feb 27, 2013
    203
    Have a great holiday Peartrees. Glad to hear OH is well enough to travel !
     
  16. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Phew!
    I am so pleased to read you are on your way -- have a great time.
     
  17. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,603
    West Midlands
    Have a wonderful time :)


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     

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