1. Whoami?

    Whoami? New member

    Jun 21, 2019
    3
    I am 4th of 5 children living in London. My siblings live in Ireland near my parents. My mother has FTD and Alzheimer’s. She has had it for 7 years. I have been lucky in that when I go on holiday my husband myself and the kids get to spend weeks and weeks with the kids. My parents have a bedroom in our house so when they visit it is home from home. I do all I can to help I call several times a day because I want to chat to her and I think the chats are precious cos soon there won’t be any. My mother turned 70 in Feb. That’s when the trouble started. My siblings told me the night before(too late to books.Fight for a family of 5 - I have three kids under 7) my older sister told me that they divided us being there would be too much of a crowd. I started to feel something I had never felt before. Just a numb feeling of isolation. Then comments came thick and fast you are over there we are over here ... snide remarks . No Twain for them. Both my sisters have stopped talking to me. My brother still talks to me but I and just lost without being able to talk to them about mum. The heartache of losing her to this cruel ness and having them layer isolation on top. I don’t get it. If it wasn’t for full on motherhood I think I would be so low but can’t afford to be with a young family. My husband has to stay here for his job. We can’t move back.more reluctant to do so now too with then being so horrible and divisive one sister I know for a fact is telling lies about me tontge other to manipulate the one I was actually close to. Does anyone else have issues with siblings where parent is sick? Thanks need advice .
     
  2. Whoami?

    Whoami? New member

    Jun 21, 2019
    3
    Sorry about typos! You get the gist!
     
  3. Whoami?

    Whoami? New member

    Jun 21, 2019
    3
    I meant in the above that we go on holidays and spend every half term or bank holiday with my parents.
     
  4. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,626
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to DTP, Whoami.
    Sorry I can't help with your situation, mine is different in that OH's children took a lot of persuading that their mum was as bad as she is. That just took patience, but I can't understand what is happening with your siblings.
    There are certainly many people on here who can identify with you, so someone will be able to advice and support you. Keep in touch.
     
  5. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,564
    Yorkshire
    hello @Whoami?
    a warm welcome from me too
    sadly, having a parent with dementia can seem to divide families
    I wonder whether you could call the sister you are close to and have a chat with her ... keep it calm and don't get into arguments ... maybe open with how sorry you are that you can't be in Ireland more often and help your parents more, that you are concerned that you might have upset some of the family and wonder what you can do to improve on any issues
    I know this sounds as though you are 'taking the blame', which may not feel right, but it may be a way in to find out what is going on without putting her on the defensive
    I know what it is to have a break with a sibling, so I do hope there's a way for you to avoid this
     

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