Sibling with EPA is preventing me from coming to the family home.

[Daviddavid50]

Hello,

I hope someone can advise?

My sister was given EPA by my parents without consulting me.

Since my dad died my mum has been put into a care home, my sister moved into mum's house in Spring 2022.

She avoids all communications with me, and won't let me into the house to gather my possessions from my bedroom, where I lived until I was 23.

I feel she hasn't paid rent, and she has had 18 months time to rifle through family possessions, letters and also my personal items.

She has put the house on the market, and won't explain why, and acts as if I need her permission to enter the house.

Has anyone got any experience regarding such a situation, and what are her and my rights regarding entering the family home?

Many thanks.

 

[Sue741215]

This must be hard for you. I don't know the legal answer to this problem though I suspect with POA your sister may be able to prevent you from going to your mother's home - however she cannot prevent you getting access to your property. If I were you I would speak to Citizen's Advice who should be able to give you the correct information and may help you to draft a letter to your sister setting out your rights. I suspect you think your sister is not acting appropriately as regards POA and again Citizens Advice should be able to advise you how to go forward if this is the case.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

Could she be selling the house in order to pay for your mum's care?

 

[Daviddavid50]

Thanks for your advice

She has EPA and my mother is in a care home.

The house has now been sold, albeit STC and she never once spoke to me about that. She has kept me 100% in the dark about everything.

You are right, she can't deny me access to get my belongings, but she is trying to.

I reported her to the OPG and there is an investigation.

Thanks.

This must be hard for you. I don't know the legal answer to this problem though I suspect with POA your sister may be able to prevent you from going to your mother's home - however she cannot prevent you getting access to your property. If I were you I would speak to Citizen's Advice who should be able to give you the correct information and may help you to draft a letter to your sister setting out your rights. I suspect you think your sister is not acting appropriately as regards POA and again Citizens Advice should be able to advise you how to go forward if this is the case.

 

[Daviddavid50]

Could she be selling the house in order to pay for your mum's care?

Hi, she doesn't tell me anything.

 

[Jaded'n'faded]

I feel she hasn't paid rent, and she has had 18 months time to rifle through family possessions, letters and also my personal items.

You feel she hasn't paid rent? Do you know that? If you suspect her of wrongdoing you can report her to the OPG but unless you have concrete evidence that she has mis-managed funds or gained from her position as EPA, they won't do anything. They definitely won't get involved in what they consider to be family disputes.

The bottom line is that your parents appointed her to represent them (the EPA) not you and I'm afraid that gives her a lot of rights, as well as responsibilities.

Presumably the house became your mother's asset following the death of your father. But now she's moved into a care home, the fees have to be paid as she would be regarded as self-funding if she owns a house. So your sister has had to sell the house to free up the funds as well as move out herself.

She should certainly have been paying market rent whilst living there and she should certainly give you any of your possessions remaining in the house but she doesn't have to allow you into the property. She may assume you didn't want items you'd left there since you were 23. You could get a solicitor to write to her detailing all the items that are yours and ask for them to be boxed up for you to collect.

I'd have to say that 'rifling through family possessions and letters' is actually part of her job as EPA, i.e. to sort out your mum's affairs. Obviously she has no right to go through your stuff though.

 

[nitram]

My sister was given EPA by my parents without consulting me.

It was the donor's choice.
If you had concerns over the choice you should have had the opportunity to object when the donor was loosing or had lost capacity and the power was registered with the OPG.
Part C

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a7c5071ed915d3d0e87b8bc/EPA101_Guidance_apply_register_EPA.pdf

 

[Daviddavid50]

You feel she hasn't paid rent? Do you know that? If you suspect her of wrongdoing you can report her to the OPG but unless you have concrete evidence that she has mis-managed funds or gained from her position as EPA, they won't do anything. They definitely won't get involved in what they consider to be family disputes.

The bottom line is that your parents appointed her to represent them (the EPA) not you and I'm afraid that gives her a lot of rights, as well as responsibilities.

Presumably the house became your mother's asset following the death of your father. But now she's moved into a care home, the fees have to be paid as she would be regarded as self-funding if she owns a house. So your sister has had to sell the house to free up the funds as well as move out herself.

She should certainly have been paying market rent whilst living there and she should certainly give you any of your possessions remaining in the house but she doesn't have to allow you into the property. She may assume you didn't want items you'd left there since you were 23. You could get a solicitor to write to her detailing all the items that are yours and ask for them to be boxed up for you to collect.

I'd have to say that 'rifling through family possessions and letters' is actually part of her job as EPA, i.e. to sort out your mum's affairs. Obviously she has no right to go through your stuff though.

Hi, it's been reported and is being looked at by a judge.

She has kept my 100% in the dark about everything, due to her hatred for me.

She even kept my father's death from me and called me a few days after to tell me he passed away, and I was therefore denied the chance to save my last words to him.

She moved into the house after selling her own place after my mum was put into a care home.

She has no right to stop me from entering the house as it's not her house, and with luck she will lose POA/EPA.

 

[Daviddavid50]

It was the donor's choice.
If you had concerns over the choice you should have had the opportunity to object when the donor was loosing or had lost capacity and the power was registered with the OPG.
Part C

I wasn't informed about the POA decisions that my parents made with my sister, and I only found out about that last year, 14 yeas later after they registered my sister as POA with the solicitor etc..

My sister has kept me in the dark about everything.

 

[nitram]

I wasn't informed about the POA decisions that my parents made with my sister, and I only found out about that last year, 14 yeas later after they registered my sister as POA with the solicitor etc..

EPAs are not registered with solicitor, the registration making it a legal document is with the OPG when you should have been given a EP1PG informing you of the attorney(s) and giving you a chance to talk to them about their interpretation of the role.
The solicitor would have been acting on the donor's instructions, the attorney(s) should not have been present at discussions between the donor and solicitor.

 

[Daviddavid50]

EPAs are not registered with solicitor, the registration making it a legal document is with the OPG when you should have been given a

Hi, it was all done correctly in 2007 but i was not even asked if I wanted to be a LPA/POA, my parents decided they would only ask my sister. I only found out about this last year.

I saw the certificate recently.

 

[nitram]

Hi, it was all done correctly in 2007 but i was not even asked if I wanted to be a LPA/POA, my parents decided they would only ask my sister. I only found out about this last year.

I saw the certificate recently.

For whatever reason it was the donor's decision.
As the application seems to have been made with the help of a solicitor I think they would have suggested having more than one EPA meaning it was a deliberate choice by the donor.
The only act by the EPA you have mentioned that is questionable is the refusal to allow you to have your possessions from when you lived in the house. Have you given the EPA a list?

 

[Daviddavid50]

For whatever reason it was the donor's decision.
As the application seems to have been made with the help of a solicitor I think they would have suggested having more than one EPA meaning it was a deliberate choice by the donor.
The only act by the EPA you have mentioned that is questionable is the refusal to allow you to have your possessions from when you lived in the house. Have you given the EPA a list?

Yes, since I was a toddler my mum told me she didn't trust me, I forgive her now because she now has dementia.

Yes, I gave the EPA (my sister) a list, but I told her not to touch my possessions. A judge is considering whether she will be questioned in court, the Court of Protection.

 

[Scarlet Lady]

@Daviddavid50 , I’m sorry that there has been a breakdown in communication within your family. It would clearly be easier if you and your sister could work together in your mother‘s best interests, but from what you say, that doesn’t seem possible. Were you not close to your parents either? I ask only because your parents appointed your sister as their attorney and chose to do this without a family consultation. In addition, you say you only knew your father had died when your sister told you. Had you not been in touch with him before he passed away? Have you been able to see your mum in the care home?
As far as your rights are concerned, your sister should certainly be returning your possessions to you. You say she has no right to stop you from entering the house because it’s not her house. Well, it’s not yours either, even it is your family home. It seems that separate action is being taken by the OPG/Court of Protection so I think it may be wise to wait for the outcome of that investigation before you consider further action. In any case, if the house has been sold STC, it may not be long before it needs to be cleared for completion, at which point you should expect to have your belongings returned to you.

 

[Daviddavid50]

@Daviddavid50 , I’m sorry that there has been a breakdown in communication within your family. It would clearly be easier if you and your sister could work together in your mother‘s best interests, but from what you say, that doesn’t seem possible. Were you not close to your parents either? I ask only because your parents appointed your sister as their attorney and chose to do this without a family consultation. In addition, you say you only knew your father had died when your sister told you. Had you not been in touch with him before he passed away? Have you been able to see your mum in the care home?
As far as your rights are concerned, your sister should certainly be returning your possessions to you. You say she has no right to stop you from entering the house because it’s not her house. Well, it’s not yours either, even it is your family home. It seems that separate action is being taken by the OPG/Court of Protection so I think it may be wise to wait for the outcome of that investigation before you consider further action. In any case, if the house has been sold STC, it may not be long before it needs to be cleared for completion, at which point you should expect to have your belongings returned to you.

Hi Scarlet, thanks for your advice etc.

My sister feels powerful now that our father is gone and she has EPA. We fell out years ago, and she is an impossible character to deal with. No, I wasn't close to my parents, and my sister was the one they wanted, I wasn't.

This is why they didn't tell me anything about what they organsied in 2007, but I am glad I found out, as it backs up my presumption that I was the black sheep of the 'family'.

Yes I was in contact with them and I would call them infrequently, because that's the way I am. They ever called me on my birthday or at Xmas, ever. The relationship was weird, and they really only liked my older sister.

My dad had a fall, and no one told me that , 1 week later he died, my sister only called me 9 days after he died.

Yes I have seen her in the care home, she thinks I am her brother.

My sister sold her own house after mum went into car home, then she moved into my parent's house without seeking permission. She lived rent free because the ret would be about 25-30k a year for that house.

She can't deny me access to the house as it's not what the EPA is allowed to do, in fact she should never have lived there at all.

It could be I will need to call the police to force her to let me in to get my property.

Why does the Brady Bunch seem so fake?