My mother has dementia and lives in semi-sheltered accommodation. We have just returned from a 10 day holiday, when my sibling came to stay with my mum. He lives over 300 miles away.
As soon as we were back from holiday, my brother has suggested that as he considers my mum has deteriorated since he last saw her 6 months ago. He also mentioned that one morning she did not recognise him, which has probably shaken him.
At present, Mum lives about 250 yards from our house and can feed, clean and dress herself and of course does get confused. I visit every day to chat and prepare an evening meal.
He wants to move her to his house, so that he can provide more mental stimulation for her, as he will go to 3 days a week at work.
At the moment I am totally against this. Mum has lived in this area for over 40 years. She has a familiar routine and when she relocated 2 years ago from a larger house to the sheltered accommodation, it was very distressing for her.
We have a support network of my partner and adult daughter and I work very locally. Mum also has one remaining friend who still visits her.
I cannot understand the logic of him thinking this would be better for her. She would be in a location she doesn't know, in a remote village, with my brother who has no family. Mum does not have any friends near where my brother lives. He has no contingency for support if he was away from the house or having to work away.
In fact, I am really cross about this suggestion and feel it is more rooted in his guilt for living so far away and being feeling helpless and not in the best interests of Mum.
Any advice would be good. THanks
As soon as we were back from holiday, my brother has suggested that as he considers my mum has deteriorated since he last saw her 6 months ago. He also mentioned that one morning she did not recognise him, which has probably shaken him.
At present, Mum lives about 250 yards from our house and can feed, clean and dress herself and of course does get confused. I visit every day to chat and prepare an evening meal.
He wants to move her to his house, so that he can provide more mental stimulation for her, as he will go to 3 days a week at work.
At the moment I am totally against this. Mum has lived in this area for over 40 years. She has a familiar routine and when she relocated 2 years ago from a larger house to the sheltered accommodation, it was very distressing for her.
We have a support network of my partner and adult daughter and I work very locally. Mum also has one remaining friend who still visits her.
I cannot understand the logic of him thinking this would be better for her. She would be in a location she doesn't know, in a remote village, with my brother who has no family. Mum does not have any friends near where my brother lives. He has no contingency for support if he was away from the house or having to work away.
In fact, I am really cross about this suggestion and feel it is more rooted in his guilt for living so far away and being feeling helpless and not in the best interests of Mum.
Any advice would be good. THanks