Shuts out family

[JAcky1205]

Hi my dad with dementia, since being put in a care home 9months continually asks to go back home to be with his wife (mum). When she visits he grabs her hand and won’t let it go.

My mum has recently gone into the same care home for respite, and since then my dad has changed towards her, he looks miserable, keeps his eyes closed and hasn’t been eating. When he isn’t with her he opens her eyes and will eat? Has anyone experienced this sudden change of behaviour to their loved ones?

Many thanks

 

[Louise7]

Hello @JAcky1205 it's quite common for someone to ask to go home but they don't necessarily mean an actual place, sometimes it's more of wanting to go back to a time when they felt less confused. You mentioned in an earlier post that when the family visits your dad starts off bright but then closes his eyes, so this could be due to being tired by the stimulation of visits, for example more noise/talking than the person can cope with for too long. This is something that can happen as dementia progresses, my mum trends to do this quite a bit now too. Have you spoken to the care home staff about the situation with your dad not eating now that your mum is staying in the home? If he is eating OK when your mum isn't there then it may be that they could perhaps consider giving your parents their meals separately, for example sit them in different dining rooms, or stagger their meals so that they aren't eating together, but this would obviously depend on the layout of the care home and other practicalities such as staffing. It's worth having a chat with the staff so see what they think could help as they have probably experienced similar so may have a few techniques they could try.

 

[JAcky1205]

Hi Louise, thank you for sharing your experience and advice. It is definitely worth speaking to the staff about