I agree with Stanley, evie. You have nothing to feel guilty about. It's one of those "damned if you, damned if you don't" situations that the Guilt Monster loves to play with! Boot the guilt out! As with anything, you try your best with the information available to you - which was that your dad did well coming out for the Christening just a few weeks ago. Now, you know that that few weeks has made a difference, and from now on you can make your decisions with that further information. If you hadn't tried, you'd be left wondering "What if I had tried? Maybe he would have been fine?" - now you know, and don't have to worry about future outings. Your dad's illness has made the decision.