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Should I be worried

sth

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
11
0
cheshire
Not been around for a while as things with Mum were quite stable but over the past few months she has been getting worse not knowing if it is night or day as a consequence she has not been going upstairs to bed ( she can still go up and does several times a day in her wanderings) and spends the night in her chair Is this common? Is she safer downstairs at night if she wakes up? Mum seems happy about staying down but when I tell other family members they say she should go to bed but they do not have to sort it every thing is left to me
 

loveahug

Registered User
Nov 28, 2012
1,071
0
Moved to Leicester
I've always told my mum's carers to choose their battles wisely, if she insists she will go to bed later, then they are not to try and persuade her. If she sleeps in the chair, as long as she is comfortable and safe, then so be it. My MIL reached an obese stage where she could not lie down as she couldn't get up without help, she slept in the armchair for years.

I hope these observations help.
 

sth

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
11
0
cheshire
Thanks loveahug this is generally how I feel as long as Mum is happy but others who do nothing seem to think differently so it makes me question myself
 

gingernut45

Registered User
Mar 7, 2013
29
0
Cambrigeshire
Not been around for a while as things with Mum were quite stable but over the past few months she has been getting worse not knowing if it is night or day as a consequence she has not been going upstairs to bed ( she can still go up and does several times a day in her wanderings) and spends the night in her chair Is this common? Is she safer downstairs at night if she wakes up? Mum seems happy about staying down but when I tell other family members they say she should go to bed but they do not have to sort it every thing is left to me

If the 'well-meaning' family members, who do not have a clue what its like to care for Mum (or Dads), insist that she goes to bed, tell them to do it themselves. Then stand back and watch. No doubt they will run a mile with a variety of excuses why they can't. My Step-son did when I said that if he had a problem with the way I was caring for his Dad, he could take his Dad home (to Kent) with him. The excuses were lack of facilities, no-one around to look after him as he could not afford to give up work!! and off he went. Just what I expected..
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,289
0
SW London
Thanks loveahug this is generally how I feel as long as Mum is happy but others who do nothing seem to think differently so it makes me question myself

Tell these do-nothing advice givers to stick their advice up their collective bottom. Preferably with the rough end of a pineapple.
Honestly.
 

juniepoonie

Registered User
Jun 11, 2013
727
0
essex
hi just to let you know my BIL was in an assessment hospital unit for 4mths an didn't sleep in a bed the whole time he was there! if nursing staff who were very experienced in caring for AD an VD couldn't get him in bed what chance would we have had? so please don't beat yourself up ,let mum sleep an rest in the armchair . so long as it keeps her happy whats the problem. the only down side we had was BIL feet an legs would swell as his feet were never raised! we seem to have got over that now an he is back in his bed in NH. hope mum does soon . best wishes juniepoonie
 

Nebiroth

Registered User
Aug 20, 2006
3,510
0
Do whatever makes your mum content and causes the least problems for you. There is nothing at all wrong in sleeping upright in a chair. Lots of people with breathing difficulties sleep propped upright because it's better for them. Only thing I can think of as an issue is that if your mum has any problems with circulation then her legs and feets might get puffy as the blood will tend to pool in the lower extremities. This is easily solved with something like a footrest, to keep her legs elevated.

A recliner chair is another possibility. You can even get ones with inbuilt heating.

Also, if she sleeps in a chair downstairs at night then she cannot possible fall down the stairs! This is oftena big worry, that people may wake at night in their confused states and wander, just right to fall down the stairs. I used to worry about that.
 
Last edited:

tiggs72

Registered User
Jul 15, 2013
142
0
Tell these do-nothing advice givers to stick their advice up their collective bottom. Preferably with the rough end of a pineapple.
Honestly.

Love this! Made me smile!

I leave dad sleep on the sofa if he chooses - I have left a throw and comfy cushions so he is as comfortable as possible x
 

sth

Registered User
Jan 19, 2011
11
0
cheshire
Thanks

Thanks for your replies Its when your not sure what your doing and people tel with your supportlyou otherwise that you doubt yourself but you have put my mind at rest
 

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