Hi everyone,
I need a bit of advice.. Sorry for the long post.
We've moved my MIL into sheltered housing this weekend, as a private tenant. She has ALZ, which is usually pretty mild, depending on her anxiety level. Hence the move to sheltered rather than extra care or assisted living - her dr recommended the move.
Since she signed the tenancy last month, I've read a bit about sheltered housing not being very accepting of dementia - but didn't worry too much as she has no specific care needs, she's quite independent. Either my partner or I call her each evening to remind her to take her pills. But we wanted to move her as she was very isolated at her old flat.
Now here's the problem. She seemed to cope well with the move, a little anxious but nothing major. We needed to pop home today and asked her to stay inside her flat in the meantime, as she's not yet used to the building or area.
In the 45 minutes we were gone, she left her flat, door wide open (with a cat inside), wandered the corridors, lost, and walked into another resident's flat unannounced, calling for her cat. The resident was understandably furious, demanding to know why MIL can't remember where she lives. Another resident got involved, and they've had a 'house meeting' about whether MIL should be there. Tomorrow the house manager will be in at 9am and a complaint will be made - not even 24 hours after she's moved in!
The estate agents nor the landlord asked if MIL had any sort of medical condition, and we didn't mention it as she's mild, so didn't think it would be a problem - not in the life of the tenancy anyway, which is 12 months. But the move seems so have exacerbated it hugely, she's now extremely confused and angry after the incident, has no idea where she is and 'wants to go home'
We have no idea what to do. My partner is staying with her tonight, and I'm taking a day off work tomorrow to make sure she doesn't wander. But so worried the house manager will ask her to leave, we would have to pay the remaining 11 months of fixed term tenancy... As well as find her somewhere else to live
But we can't be with her indefinitely. We can't lock her in her flat, but if we leave her alone she'll definitely wander again. I'm hoping once the stress has settled, so will the ALZ, but will it? Could it stay like this?
Have we made a huge mistake?
I need a bit of advice.. Sorry for the long post.
We've moved my MIL into sheltered housing this weekend, as a private tenant. She has ALZ, which is usually pretty mild, depending on her anxiety level. Hence the move to sheltered rather than extra care or assisted living - her dr recommended the move.
Since she signed the tenancy last month, I've read a bit about sheltered housing not being very accepting of dementia - but didn't worry too much as she has no specific care needs, she's quite independent. Either my partner or I call her each evening to remind her to take her pills. But we wanted to move her as she was very isolated at her old flat.
Now here's the problem. She seemed to cope well with the move, a little anxious but nothing major. We needed to pop home today and asked her to stay inside her flat in the meantime, as she's not yet used to the building or area.
In the 45 minutes we were gone, she left her flat, door wide open (with a cat inside), wandered the corridors, lost, and walked into another resident's flat unannounced, calling for her cat. The resident was understandably furious, demanding to know why MIL can't remember where she lives. Another resident got involved, and they've had a 'house meeting' about whether MIL should be there. Tomorrow the house manager will be in at 9am and a complaint will be made - not even 24 hours after she's moved in!
The estate agents nor the landlord asked if MIL had any sort of medical condition, and we didn't mention it as she's mild, so didn't think it would be a problem - not in the life of the tenancy anyway, which is 12 months. But the move seems so have exacerbated it hugely, she's now extremely confused and angry after the incident, has no idea where she is and 'wants to go home'
We have no idea what to do. My partner is staying with her tonight, and I'm taking a day off work tomorrow to make sure she doesn't wander. But so worried the house manager will ask her to leave, we would have to pay the remaining 11 months of fixed term tenancy... As well as find her somewhere else to live
But we can't be with her indefinitely. We can't lock her in her flat, but if we leave her alone she'll definitely wander again. I'm hoping once the stress has settled, so will the ALZ, but will it? Could it stay like this?
Have we made a huge mistake?