My husband is impotent due to his MSA however he has become more interested in sex than ever before. He cannot control his body so it is like being in a wrestling match and I have frequently been hurt. He will approach me anywhere in the house at any time provided he can walk the few steps to get to me and he won't be put off by refusal. He wants to "play" with my body for an hour or more each time and I really, really find it all very off putting given that he is incontinent often needs to change. Does any one else have this problem? What do I do?
Sexual behaviour
- Thread starter Avis
- Start date
You need a separate room with a lock for night time. Marriage doesn’t oblige you to be abused regardless of the partners issues. During the day you need to look at day centres or Befrienders who are male. I would also be making a discussion with his GP and psychiatrist a priority.
Ive had this problem with OH (not so much now). You should not have to put up with being hurt, nor should you have to acquiesce to his every whim I have slept in a separate room for years now and there is medication that can reduce the urge.
PS - is he on donepezil? Sometimes this drug can cause this as a side effect.
PS - is he on donepezil? Sometimes this drug can cause this as a side effect.
He is not on donepezil but I will certainly take everyone's advice and discuss it with the doctor. It is a bit embarrassing and not the sort of thing I can speak about with my children. Thank you.
My father( who has Alzheimers) is becoming sexually demanding with my mother. I have noted the comments about locks on bedroom doors and discussing the medication with doctors. Thank you
Does this behaviour stop? The latest episode happened after he woke from a sleep and it puzzles my mother because she can see no trigger or reason for it. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Does this behaviour stop? The latest episode happened after he woke from a sleep and it puzzles my mother because she can see no trigger or reason for it. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Seek an appointment urgently, there is medication that can be tried to reduce his sexual urges. Try not to feel embarrassed, just set out in plain terms the problem and huge constant impact it is having on you and whilst your OH cannot help keeping this in check because of his cognitive decline, you need urgent help to deal with this behaviour.
He is not on donepezil but I will certainly take everyone's advice and discuss it with the doctor. It is a bit embarrassing and not the sort of thing I can speak about with my children. Thank you.
My husband has dementia with the MSA so I doubt a psychiatrist would help and the local doctor seems a bit embarrassed. I think I will change doctors. thank you for your suggestions.
I sympathise with your mother as my husband is like that too. it is demoralising and a bit frightening. At least she has you to help her, my children don;t want to know about this side of things.
The reason I mentioned his psychiatrist, if he has one, is that they are the ones who do the prescribing of appropriate drugs. They then pass that info onto his GP who takes over the day to day prescribing. It may be that you have only dealt with a GP and if they are useless in helping you then try to find a better doctor.
Do you or your husband have a regular GP? I was just going to suggest that you might feel more comfortable discussing this with a female doctor if you know of one at your local clinic.
I have been thinking of switching to a female doctor as our GP seems embarrassed if I try to talk about it. Thank you.
I only spoke to my GP over the phone when my husband was having sexual hallucinations. It was only one of three things I spoke about and the doctor only came back with answers for two. So I guess he didn't want to speak about the hallucinations.
That was a while ago and the hallucinations seem to have stopped. But just recently he has started looking through a magazine and then talking about the advert for condoms in there. When I looked it wasn't an advert for condoms but something completely different. But I got so fed up of him keep doing it that yesterday I ripped the page with the advert out. It was just driving me mad.
That was a while ago and the hallucinations seem to have stopped. But just recently he has started looking through a magazine and then talking about the advert for condoms in there. When I looked it wasn't an advert for condoms but something completely different. But I got so fed up of him keep doing it that yesterday I ripped the page with the advert out. It was just driving me mad.
I find the changes in sexual thoughts and behaviour the most disturbing to deal with. My OH was such a private person and we had a loving relationship which has completely disappeared. He spends hours on his iPad having ‘conversations ‘ with females from across the world. I keep an eye on the content which is fairly innocent in a teenage testosterone fuelled way but a close friend advised that I should put a block on the websites. However, I feel that if I stop these communications, what is he left with to make him feel like a person without FTD?
I am lucky that my husband is computer illiterate so that is not a problem however you might want to get onto his "friends" on line and tell them that he has dementia. You could pretend to be him and say something like, "My wife doesn't like me doing this because I have dementia". then maybe he will think he wrote it. But I agree that as long as you can monitor his emails he can't come to much harm.
