To cut a long story short, my mother was diagnosed (with moderate dementia)since 2013 and been in a nursing home since 2015 when it was diagnosed severe. She could have been admitted to a mixed mild/moderate dementia facility in June 2015, but my sister persuaded my Dad to keep Mum at home (Dad is 77, so it wasn't my sister who would be looking after Mum, though she said she would help "a bit more"), but in the intervening period, a letter of severe dementia arrived and the nursing home could no longer accept her. My sister's over-commitment lasted for less than a week, then it was left to me to ring-around and drive-around to find somewhere that could take Mum. My sister had basically washed her hands of the situation. Unfortunately, we heard two weeks ago that the home she is in is closing no later than February. My sister has the idea that she would take her into her house, but this could take months and would involve at least one more change of home meantime. I spoke to the resident nursing home nurse on Tuesday of this week about the situations. Relatives are naturally concerned, especially with the Christmas/New Year lull and then February so close after that. Five residents have been moved to other homes this week alone. I asked the nurse about advice, first about my sister's idea, and then what we should no next. I should say:my sister attends an education course twice a week, her grown-up daughter goes to university some distance away twice a week, her son works almost full-time, my sister has a boyfriend who does not live locally, and my sister likes generally to get out-and-about. They also have two active dogs. The nurse shook her head at virtually everything, especially the fact that someone with severe dimentia needs to be in a place with (almost) constant supervision, including overnight; a doctor on call; basically an end to social (and education) lives; falls; and the dogs. The nurse then gave me and my Dad a list of local nursing homes for dementia sufferers, and said we should visit them as soon as possible because other relatives were. My sister's daughter got-wind of this and accused me if not diving a damn about Mum and "how dare I put my Mum's name down for place (we hadn't done)> I told her she didn't know what she was talking about , but was her mother a qualified nurse and were they all prepared to give-up their social lives? No response. Then my sister joined in, said Dad and I were going behind her back (we were trying to help) and that she will never forgive the pair of us, especially me for some of the texts. (I admit I did get very frustrated at her naivety/stupidity.) She now says I'm not her brother any more and has turned my niece and nephew against me- blocked phoned numbers, deleted Facebook friends, refusing to take to me, that sort of thing. (She'll continue to talk to Dd because it's near Christmas, and she likes to get the money presents from him at Christmas time, whereas she knows she can forget about anything like that from me.) So, I am the 'big-bad woolf' for trying to help, whereas my manipulative sister clearly feels like she's on on some sort of power-trip. Meanwhile, my Dad agrees with me, but doesn't want to fall out with his daughter. Does any of this sound familiar to other posters. I'd be interested to hear stories. Many thanks. Gavin.