I think how you handle this depends a lot on whether you can get out and about, leaving her at home on her own.
Verbal abuse at a carer is so common and it seems that they become the target because they are close at hand.
Firstly, are you getting any help with a bit of housework? Even a little bit would reduce the load.
The other thing is that while the abuse may seem to you to be a personal thing, it really isn’t. It’s a scream of anger that things are out of control and she has no way of getting that back so she takes it out on you.
Firstly, you have to learn to let this wash over you and realise that it’s not really personal. Call it whatever you like - thick skin, crocodile skin, doesn’t matter. Just say , ‘Yes, dear’ and don’t let her see that she is upsetting you. My husband would get very angry if I didn’t arrive home on time so I then never said any particular that I would get back. I would say that I might be home mid afternoon, after lunch etc which was very vague.
If your wife can be left alone for a time, then you can take the tough move. When she starts abusing you, walk out and leave her to it. This is what I did when the going got tough. I would go for a walk, ring a friend for a coffee, or maybe go and see a movie. You need to be consistent and do it every time.
My husband could be left alone for quite a time so I stayed away for quite a long time and he got the message very quickly. The abuse is a form of bullying which no one should have to accept.
And it seemed that as he realised that I wouldn’t let him bully me, things improved.
This may not work for you. We all have to find our own way through and I hope you manage to get some help.