My dad has Alzheimer’s and has been affected for many years actually but after mum died in April last he rapidly deteriorated and luckily got a quick diagnosis of advanced Alzheimer’s. He’s 82 next month. He is taking 10mg of donezepil and i would describe him as settled. I don’t live near him sadly but I spend one weekend a month visiting him for a few days. He’s always been such a pragmatic, accepting, positive and humble man who is my inspiration and idol. What I’m really struggling with is how to respond when he tells me that he’s, in his words ‘all upside down’. He knows he’s not the man he was and makes repeated reference to being all jumbled up and not knowing what’s going on. He’ll start to get agitated saying I need to sort myself out and get with it again. I try to reassure him that I think he’s doing great, focus on things he does remember but do you have any tips on how I can respond to his increasing worry and stress about loosing himself? It’s breaking my heart. Thank you in advance x
Seeking tips on how to respond to my dad and keep him positive
- Thread starter Roxy23
- Start date
Maybe you could encourage and enthuse him about the things he still can do, rather than dwelling on lost abilities. I used to do the Times and Telegraph crosswords, but now I do the ones in Tesco books. I used to write computer programs for big management systems, but now I just write macros in visual basic for Excel. I used to be able to plan journeys on the back of the envelope in minutes, now it takes me days on paper, using the computer as well. I used to plan and manage projects where 50 people took three years to deliver a computer system, now I need a post it note to write on to remind me why I've left a room!
One consolation of this rotten disease is that unless I'm reminded of something I used to enjoy I don't regret it, because I've forgotten about it.
Acceptance seems to be the route to a tolerable way of life, I've always been a fighter against the slings and arrows, but this one seems to need compromise, and I just do whatever I can to do delay the inevitable by strengthening my cognitive resilience with whatever opportunity arises.
So I would encourage your dad to do as much as he still can, in order to retain his abilities as long as possible. Use it or lose it!
One consolation of this rotten disease is that unless I'm reminded of something I used to enjoy I don't regret it, because I've forgotten about it.
Acceptance seems to be the route to a tolerable way of life, I've always been a fighter against the slings and arrows, but this one seems to need compromise, and I just do whatever I can to do delay the inevitable by strengthening my cognitive resilience with whatever opportunity arises.
So I would encourage your dad to do as much as he still can, in order to retain his abilities as long as possible. Use it or lose it!
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