1. Rainbow81

    Rainbow81 Registered User

    Feb 23, 2016
    Hi, I'm looking for any advice or info. For well over a year we have suspected that my Gran has dementia and have tried to encourage my Granda to talk about it or see the doctor about it. He has always said that my Gran was fine and that he could care for her.

    In recent months she had started displaying 'odd' behaviour in that she was packing bags to go home or kept saying that she wanted to go home. My mum went with them to the docs and told him what was going on, so the doc has arranged a scan which is happening this week and also blood tests which have come back to say there are deficiencies. My Granda originally told us her bloods were fine until my mum spoke to the doctor.

    My Gran was sectioned at the weekend as she had been out to the neighbours doors saying that she was being followed and was shouting abuse at my Granda and mum. She is now in a dementia ward and have been told that her dementia is really bad and although socially she seems great, she is actually struggling to look after herself. I just wanted to ask if anyone knows what can happen from here?

    My Granda I think is still in denial because he doesn't see my Gran as being so ill as he is used to doing everything for her. He thinks she will be getting out in two weeks and that things will go back to how they are. No one from the hospital has spoken to him about what is going on.

    Should we tell my Gran she has dementia once confirmed or is it to late? I feel horrendously guilty that we didn't push more and could've avoided my Gran being sectioned. It's so incredibly sad and I just feel heartbroken that they are going through this
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Welcome to TP :)

    Being sectioned is often a good thing as the person gets a lot of support & their medication sorted.
    Don't feel guilty. You've done the best you could.
  3. BR_ANA

    BR_ANA Registered User

    Jun 27, 2012
    Hi rainbow and welcome to TP.

    She will has her medications fixed on hospital stay. It is not bad as you think. she was sectioned because of her behaviour. It wasn't due to diagnosis.

    I would advice learn about compassionate communication

    It seems your grandad was doing a great job coping with her.

    Probably now, with diagnosis, he can ask SS for a care package to help him to care for her.
  4. Rainbow81

    Rainbow81 Registered User

    Feb 23, 2016
    Thank you. I'm new to this page and I've found looking through all the information and threads really helpful and comforting.
  5. Candlelight 67

    Candlelight 67 Registered User

    Nov 4, 2013
    West Sussex
    I just wanted to say don't blame yourself too. It is extremely difficult when one of a couple has it and the other one covers up. You and your Mother did what you could. Hopefully you will receive the support you need now.

    This site is wonderful for support. And Welcome to TP
  6. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    This is so difficult for you. Lots of people who have had loved ones sectioned have said it has been positive for the person with dementia because it really helps get things sorted out. I can't see anything to be gained in telling Gran but I think Granda might find it helpful to sit with someone else and the consultant and listen to the problems that Gran is having, if you are not offered that appointment it would be worth explaining the staff that Granda is in denial and it would be helpful if they could talk to him with you.

    Keep posting and let us know how things are going x
  7. onlyme1

    onlyme1 Registered User

    Sep 10, 2011
    hi rainbow 81. please try not to give yourself a hard time. I have bipolar disorder and have been sectioned several times. I never appreciated the effect on my family, especially mum and dad. only now when they're in a care home with dementia do I have an idea how tough it must have been for them. Although clearly traumatic for you, sectioning will formalise your gran's care. she could also be entitled to section 117 aftercare from the local authority. it must be hard for your grandad but the hospital should be supporting you all. xx
  8. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi Rainbow, welcome to TP
    Sectioned is to be detained under section 2 or 3 of the mental health act, if you read the fact sheet on the link below it'll explain it all in detail.
    Usually it's a section 2 for 28 days so they can detain her for assessment (against her wishes), a section 3 may follow, 6 months initially then each year when treatment can be given usually medication "covertly".
    Basically (from my experience) nobody will tell you anything until a lot of assessments are done then they get round to the family/home situation and invite you in for a talk.
    It all goes very slowly 7 weeks in and yesterday I had a meeting with the "team" the upshot of which is there're going to up her medication and see how it looks in a couple of weeks, today I had a meeting with the team psychologist so she could take some background history, so it's a slow process.
    Hopefully they'll find it's something minor like a UTI that has triggered a psychotic episode and she'll be home soon, bit in the meantime I'd focus on taking care of Granda too, being separated from his partner may hit him hard so don't forget him too.
    As Cat says don't worry about the being "sectioned" thing,sometimes it's for the best as under section get's some of the best care on offer from the NHS and the LA for both of them and it's free.
    Whilst under section your Grandma will be looked after, on the other hand Granda may be alone for the first time in his life, he sounds like a pretty capable sort of guy if he's coped so far but Granma's getting support, Granpa's just lost his support, even though it might sound like a burden to you.
    I say this as someone who's had my wife sectioned seven weeks ago so now live alone after 41 years of her being here and although it breaks my heart to visit her in a secure psych unit she is at least reasonably happy there. I'm the one that goes home to an empty house. Not a plea for sympathy but think about him too.

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